Elon Unscented 🏐

The thinking man's Elon Musk ... I ❤ pronouns: she/her/wrath of a menace

[Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented]

Employer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?

me: It's a 1:1000 replica of the Gap in the mall

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

“you can’t live in fear” uhh yes I can. been doing it since I was 11

[Grace @gracecamille_]

thinking of an ex bf who sat me down and very seriously told me he thought he might be asexual and then 2 hours later was like ‘nvm i just wasn’t horny. I didn’t know i could feel like that way’ and i was like you didn’t know you could feel not horny and he was like yea

[Jay Del Greco @jaydelgreco]

Unable to differentiate between poll workers and pole workers, Mark went to the wrong place to vote. It was much more fun, but he failed to participate in democracy. Mired in Kafkaesque disenfranchisement, he complained online using his verified account. He was a Blue Czech Mark.

[prance @bocxtop]

this fucking loser spent $44 billion on an app just so he could tell people to vote for republicans i am speechless

[Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented]

the best thing about being around people who are smarter than you is not having to explain every banal observation

[Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented]

@wumother u got ur braces off 🤩

[Bunsen, Beaker, Bernoulli & Brix @bunsenbernerbmd]

Who has the best dog?

Trick question.

You do.
❤️

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

haven’t read Matthew Perry’s memoir, but from everything I’m hearing the takeaway is that he’s even more annoying than Chandler

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Going forward, any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying “parody” will be permanently suspended

[Jay Del Greco @jaydelgreco]

I want to bewilder you like an ANIMAL!

[Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented]

@mjjk_matt @dannotdaniel @Thegood55846123 😂

[Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented]

'a generous pour, please,' I say to the sommelier, as she pours shredded cheddar cheese into my wine glass

[Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented]

@sofarrsogud I feel like I should get a free membership tho

[Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented]

who wrote this starbucks poster copy william carlos williams or

[Senior Oops Engineer @ReinH]

just realized that teslas probably won't work if the company fails

[Octavia ✨ @octaviarose93]

@MWords2000 @MNateShyamalan