Elyssa Simon

enjoy my series of unfortunate events

[The Gym Hashira 🇹🇹 @kye_the_kingz]

I got two terms and trump got two impeachments we ain’t built th-

[Kylie Callura @kyliecallura]

Capitol building looking like a Bass Pro Shop

[nicole boyce @nicolewboyce]

liquidating my assets (merging all my Starbucks gift cards into one gift card in the Starbucks app)

[josh denson @notjoshdenson]

christmas in your 20’s be like

[Elyssa Simon @elyssa_simon]

Me when I got engaged lmao

[Roundtop @roundtopmtn]

We're giving Mother Nature a little boost. Snowmaking is underway!

[Alex @UrDeadRight]

Bitches be posting “nobody cares about your Spotify wrapped” and then post a pic of their baby ???

[Elyssa Simon @elyssa_simon]

@Bill_Decker24 I’ll start the recruitment process don’t you worry

[Elyssa Simon @elyssa_simon]

@Bill_Decker24 We need to make this happen for you

[Rebecca Young @Rebeccayoung94]

My daddy retired today after 25 years, a company he gave his all to. Bought flowers and sweets for his colleagues and they didnt even get him a card. My heart is broken. Remember you're only a number!

[emily spada @emilyspada_]

incase anyone was wondering what it is like to be a woman in sports

[Elyssa Simon @elyssa_simon]

Halle and I laughed at this for 10 min...

[Quan ⋆ @Quan2Real_]

When my fam ask me what dish i brought, ima say “beef” & then swing on my cousin

[adri🛸 @swanginonthem]

“ur missing 10 assignments” ok and i neva asked to be born

[kendal @_kendalllld]

What is Joe Biden’s plan on bringing back snack wraps to McDonald’s

[Elyssa Simon @elyssa_simon]

Holy shit 😂😂😂

[Luciano @Cali_76]

People who peaked in high school when they found out they can’t go to their hometown bar on Thanksgiving Eve.

[Ser Criston Cole #1 Hater @J0hnny_Utahh]

TACKLE SOMEONE YOU FVCKS

[The Exit 52 Podcast @Exit52Podcast]

Petty Lamar is the best Lamar