emily roush

💉✨🩹🩺🦠💗🧬🔬🧪💖

[Sophie Swaney @Sophieswaney_]

If jumping from hay bale to hay bale wasn’t a favorite of urs as a child .. you didn’t grow up right

[league @itsleague]

Tony Hawk, Age 4.

[the hype @TheHyyyype]

interviewer: why do you want this job?

me: i'm a job guy. love jobs

[Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal]

and when the tide went out, grandma belonged to the sea

[Matt Richards @MattRichardsGA]

Not a single American hero died so that we could have a “long weekend”.

Our brave men and women in uniform died to protect the freedoms we enjoy every day in the greatest country on Earth.

It is shameful that our Vice President does not know the purpose of Memorial Day.

[ryleigh denise @ryleighdenise]

sad? go tan
happy? go tan
annoyed? go tan

[George Pointon @GeorgePointon_]

I asked my Year 1 classes to tell me a joke;
Here is my analysis.
A THREAD

[Dolly Parton @DollyParton]

We call this country girl glam 😉

[Vic @vicccmorgan]

When Shania Twain says “Let’s go girls” I could kick a door down

[Ruthie @Ruthie18341085]

Any song by Shania Twain is meant to be shouted.

[Paki Blinder @s41ah]

No one:

8 yr old me at the corner of the swimming pool:

[Tres Terrell @TerrellTres]

Kentucky Basketball looking for a win
https://t.co/VKcfjKyv4d

[Buffalo Wild Wings @BWWings]

Everyone who retweets this gets free wings if the game goes to overtime.

[Adi @IDdocAdi]

Health care workers trying to sleep in on their day off