Parody Alex's Fireplace

Not affiliated with an actual fireplace.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@ChazakielDoremi The AI generated photo word salad blue ticks don't care what people think only that they get credit for the reach. When you retweet the stuff you dunk on you give it viral spread and your post was retweeted into my timeline today.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

Twitter notified me for the first time today that I need to submit my age or lose access to my account with a deadline of yesterday. I may take a twitter holiday.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@jimhaseloff That infographic is such an egregious lie it makes me want to never buy anything from canon ever again.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@jwt0625 It's seen as a bit fringe. It's a difficult experiment to do well outside a lab and isn't really taken seriously inside them. One plausible aspect is that dissolved gas affects the rate of ice growth. Bubbles form at the tips of the crystals.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@halvarflake Ahh. I don't see this as a major fail. It can't see the training data and has been told to do something that is the exact opposite of what it is designed to do. If a human gave that reply, I'd think they had understood the problem but made mistakes.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@iris_IGB Sodium Fluorescein?

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@mattgreencomedy 'see? they admit they left us with no money'

*proceeds to spend on the national debt from 65% of GDP all the way up to 95%*

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@ATinyGreenCell Interesting choice to call the negative electrode the anode in a rechargeable battery.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@endless_sine I thought you would, I should have included the title.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@endless_sine The Chemistry of Powder and Explosives, Tenney L Davis.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@iris_IGB @l_bandilla @4confusedemoji Yeah, sorry, ethyne. I'm quite confused, I see paths to dichloroethene, tetrachloroethane, acetaldehyde. I know the trimerisation reaction that produces benzene. I don't see how to reach DCM.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@garwboy Donating to a food bank gets you a safe word.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@iris_IGB @l_bandilla @4confusedemoji DCM two steps from ethene?

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

SB: Kier Starmer - his part in my downfall.

[The Secret Barrister 🦋 @BarristerSecret]

I made my mind up about Keir Starmer’s character years ago.

It’s a highly personal account I now share for the first time, as Sir Keir is poised to lead Labour into government.

In 2015, I set up an anonymous Twitter account called The Secret Barrister. The idea was to draw public attention to problems that I saw daily in the criminal justice system.

The account achieved mild success, and led to the publication of several books. As part of my rampant self-publicity, I would do “Legal Live Tweets” - exercises in tedious pedantry whereby I would sloppily apply rudimentary legal knowledge to popular movies. A number of lawyers began to follow me. At some point, Keir Starmer became one of them.

Then the rumours began.

Reddit was the worst. A couple of right-wing blogs fanned the flames. The Times mischievously floated the idea. Labour Party members joined the speculation.

The question kept recurring:

IS KEIR STARMER THE SECRET BARRISTER?

After all, we were both barristers. What further proof was needed?

Despite what, it was clear to all, was a concerted international media campaign - photographers on my lawn, journalists haranguing my grandma, my Welsh flatmate answering the front door naked to the world’s press - Keir Starmer said nothing.

Not a single word to dispel the rumours.

Not a single speech in Parliament.

Not a single line in his manifesto promising to correct the record.

And now, as he stands on the precipice of power, what has he said in the course of this campaign to dispel these wicked whispers? To offer the nation the reassurance that it craves?

Nothing.

So it is that I remain at the mercy of conspiracy theorists, mischief makers and Kwik Fit fitters. And our Prime Minister-to-be seemingly could not care less.

Whatever Sir Keir’s many achievements, I will never forget the character of the man who followed me on Twitter, sat back and watched my world burn.

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@Explosions_Fire @iris_IGB @whitequark Reviewer further suggests running thermograms in appropriate economical confines to help resolve uncertainty. Congratulates author on a very promising direction for research. Returned for comment and corrections. 3/7/2024

[Parody Alex's Fireplace @embersghost]

@Explosions_Fire @iris_IGB @whitequark Reminds author of the effects of heat on the ability of pure ammonium nitrate and ammonium perchlorate to sustain a detonate wave; cites the West Fertilizer Company experiment (2013), Beirut fertiliser experiment (2020) and the PEPCON chemical plant experiment (1988).