emilee

[emilee @emileeceara]

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this abstinence shit. Who wants to deflower me? “

[tori 🪩🥂🍒 @bensonscully]

me at the ripe age of 26 urban dictionarying a slang term i don’t know

[🎃Case🎃 @Cactuscali19912]

Oh you want me to work....in December? When there's sugar plum fairies dancing and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Get real.

[Faizon @pasta_waterr]

But what about Victor Baxter, the White House's first black head chef...

[ThatPrettyMf✨ @BiggBoyDiamonds]

You need to take that mf back

[Sporty R. McKenzie  @SportyRMcKenzie]

My wife explained to me that Zac Brown, Zach Bryan, and Luke Bryan are 3 completely different people who happen to work in the same industry, and the one who dated a girl named Chicken Fry had nothing to do with a song called Chicken Fried, and I think I have a brain bleed.

[The Blessing✨ @OhLyseDoIt]

It’s up there ain’t it

[🎃 @twaniimals]

"tomorrow i’ll wake up early to do it"

me at 10am:

[The Gospel Of Mark @M_Barbizzle42]

What the fuck are bette Davis eyes? I’m not arguing with em but damn I’d like to see some. Unless I have them? And that’s why I’ve never seen them? Do I have Bette Davis eyes?

[Austine @theereal_one]

Tigers being the real kings of the jungle but never getting the title cause lions have a blonde blow out will never sit right with me smh

[The Gospel Of Mark @M_Barbizzle42]

How beautiful is this shit

[Alex Cohen @anothercohen]

Your periodic reminder that hotels are superior to Airbnbs

[grant🪐 @grantmeaglizzy]

i will be partying tomorrow but NOT in celebration of america

i will however be celebrating whoever tf invented the hotdog

[emilee @emileeceara]

On a flight, pilot: “welcome to your flight to Nashvegasssss” someone get me outta here