Emily James

Paramedic, painter, indie author, bookworm, student❤

[Emily James @emilyjames820]

What's up, I wrote a book! And I'm proud of it. Here is a link if you're interested! https://t.co/1VvkcRsOEw

[emma @emma_____weaver]

every girl i know has had one situationship that has absolutely de-railed their entire lives lol

[Ben Rosen @ben_rosen]

my problem with fuck marry kill is if i’m busy fucking and killing its not necessarily the best time to also plan a wedding

[reb @rebmasel]

A poem I wish I’d written because every. single. LINE.

[Higgybaby @TheHiggybaby]

PARENTS, please check your kids candy this Halloween. I just found the One Ring forged in secret in the fires of Mount Doom, which the Dark Lord Sauron poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life.

[Mackenzie Reed @mackenziemreed]

any scene where a person is like “sorry no weapons allowed” and then the character spends several minutes removing all their hidden weapons just for the person to raise a brow like “that all?” and then they remove one more is my kind of scene

[Homo Honey @DixPeyton]

Pour some prosecco out for the bartenders having to make negroni sbagliatos for 1000 bisexuals this week

[big boy online @idonotbleed]

“joe biden is killing jobs and legalizing drugs” you’re not gonna believe this but i love drugs and i hate my job

[shelby. @cathedralslut]

Sharpay was right, this is not what I want, this is not what I planned and I just gotta say I do not understand

[Emily James @emilyjames820]

My dog: runs off to catch a squirrel that caught her attention
Me: We have food at home!

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

In my slut era (Eating 3 meals a day, only crying once a week, remembering to take my SSRIs)

[Emily James @emilyjames820]

Looking up Acotar Valkyrie workouts because apparently the only thing that can motivate me to workout is the fact that I'm a fucking nerd. Iykyk

[Eliza Black 🔥 @AuthorElizaB]

I will defend the Oxford comma until my dying breath.

[Uju Anya @UjuAnya]

The fact that nearly 70% of divorces in this country are initiated by women should tell you all you need to know about the joy and fulfillment you will supposedly find as some dude’s live-in maid.

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

“I'm twenty-seven years old, I've no money and no prospects. I'm already too old for Leonardo DiCaprio and I’m frightened. So don't you judge me, Lizzy. Don't you dare judge me!”

[Emily James @emilyjames820]

I'm out here in my Nesta Archeron era drinking too much wine, reading too much smut, and processing my trauma and I'm honestly here for it

[Emily James @emilyjames820]

Legislating based on what is essentially fan fiction will never not be ridiculous to me

[gigi @420insidejob]

i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages

[Geraldine Just Follow TheEverywhereist on Threads @everywhereist]

Have we tried telling Republicans that every student with a loan is like a tiny corporation that needs a bailout, maybe that will make them less angry