emily

[Alex Gookin @_AlexGookin]

Republican nominee in the state controlled by Republicans for 20 years:

[KATY PERRY @katyperry]

@RUINYOURTIME I love you. Thank you. Rest in power with the angels now, you are free ♥️🕊️

[microplastics rectifier @facetedcarapace]

people low-key need to get as hyped about fiber as they are about protein. the American colon is a sewer.

[emily @emilythecools]

@cmcwill22 Chrome would never do that to me. It even saves my older tabs for later 🥹

[emily @emilythecools]

when safari closed all 110 of my tabs, the app was permanently deleted from my phone. I only use Chrome now out of spite.

[Charli Huxley @ImKnotTheOne]

I won’t be lectured on Tylenol from the people that drink raw milk.

[emily @emilythecools]

@benthecools literally a cowpie

[emily @emilythecools]

Day 63 of going to Trader Joe’s to see if they have the sour strawberry belts 😪 (they don’t)

[queen of chalanting @jilleahsarchive]

everybody worried about protein what about FIBER

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

your family may die from violent diarrhea like they’re on the Oregon Trail, but at least you didn’t have to see pronouns in an email signature

[💄 @transunionism]

Bringing it back

[Brian Schatz @brianschatz]

The stock market is down but at least everything is more expensive and services are getting shittier. On the other hand we have more measles. To be fair, they are finally delivering the reductions in FAA and National Parks staff that people have been demanding.

[emily @emilythecools]

unfortunately relatable

[christian @dabongohead]

new fridge got down here without issue

[Chuck Grassley @ChuckGrassley]

Pres Trump says he is going to ft Knox to chk if there’s gold Well I can attest to it— Freshman Representative Chuck Grassley (then member of banking cmte) went to Ft Knox to chk on the gold in 1976 The gold was there

[Mike Nellis @MikeNellis]

Yeah, no shit—Michelle Obama tried to do this and Republicans called her a radical communist.

[zoë ✨🌙 @zoenone0none]

i personally love pasteurization and vaccines. i love modern medicine. i love the world that allowed my mom to have children that all lived to adulthood. i love how we eradicated polio and measles and fucking hpv