Emily

She/They INTP AuDHD ♡3.1.11♡7.26.15♡11.1.15♡2.17.21♡6.8.22♡

[Emily @emivipers]

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos reaches 100 billion dollars and I still haven't received my 6 pack of dunkaroos.

[Emily @emivipers]

@james_xond Lol never and likely never will

[Emily @emivipers]

@SofySerene Ladybug

[Matt (madmanx187) @madmanx187]

According to the schedule, the humpback whale Timmy is expected to pass the Danish town of Skagen—thereby reaching the North Sea—on May 2, 2026, at approximately 12:00 PM.
The tugboat *Robin Hood* is currently towing the barge carrying the animal from the Baltic Sea toward the Atlantic. The entire transfer operation is scheduled to take approximately three and a half days. The towing journey all the way to the Atlantic could take about a week.

[klarname @Kahimi333]

Who are the millionaires who are saving Humpback whale #Timmy ? ... MediaMarkt co-founder Walter Gunz and Equestrian entrepreneur Karin Walter-Mommert

[Emily @emivipers]

@Matt_Pinner The "good" hot dogs

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

Congress should be forced to retire at 70. Salaries should be $60K, the average American salary. They should pay a minimum of $300/month for healthcare with a $1,000 deductible, like we do.

To represent us, they should live like us.

[Yves ౨ৎ @yvessirae]

There’s a research study from 2025 that looked at men who killed their wives, and they were asked what tactics they used before the actual unaliving.

The perpetrators said that they isolated those women from their friends and family to create dependency. They gaslit those women until they doubted their own reality. They restricted their ability to work and earn money by making them stay at home. They interfered with their access to healthcare. Men built alliances with other men who would back their version of events, defend them, minimise concerns, or dismiss the woman if she ever tried to speak up.

From the outside, it doesn’t always look like “violence.” It looks like a difficult relationship and something people think a woman can just leave right?

The point is that it’s psychological. It’s slow, calculated, and designed to break a woman down piece by piece.

By the time it becomes physical, the groundwork has already been laid.

[daz @MetamateDaz]

“No one is forcing you to work at that job you hate.”

MY LANDLORD IS FORCING ME
MY BANK IS FORCING ME
THE GOVERNMENT IS FORCING ME
THE GROCERY STROE IS FORCING ME
MY FAMILY IS FORCING ME
SOCIETY IS FORCING ME

[Emily @emivipers]

@Sassafrass_84 I guess they miss dinner then 🤷🏽‍♀️ if dinner is at 6, then you eat dinner at 6.

[Emily @emivipers]

@danielchauck @FOX2News First of all, not his own money. Corporations who want something from the government at the expense of the people. Secondly, WE fund the military.

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Got a letter from the HOA yesterday

Actual letter

In an envelope

With a stamp

In 2026

The letter said my trash can was visible from the street for too long on collection day

The fine is $50

I checked my Ring camera

The truck came at 7:03am

I brought the can in at 7:14am

11 minutes

$50

That's $4.55 per minute of trash can visibility

My therapist charges $250 an hour

That's $4.17 per minute

My trash can sitting in a driveway is now more expensive per minute than therapy

I looked at the letter again

It was signed by the HOA president

Her name is Karen

Of course it is

I know this woman

She lives four houses down

She still has Christmas lights up

It's March

I know because I drive past them twice a day

And because that's what I do

I checked the HOA bylaws

All 47 pages

Section 4.2 says all exterior fixtures and lighting must be seasonal and removed within 30 days of the applicable holiday

Her lights have been up for 97 days

I went to the HOA meeting

Tuesday night

7pm

In a church basement

Folding chairs

Fruit platter that nobody touched

Seven people showed up

Four of them were on the board

The other three were there to complain

I was there to read

My wife came with me

She didn't want to

But she said "if I don't come you'll end up on the news"

I brought my legal pad

Karen called the meeting to order

She talked about community standards

She talked about property values

She talked about the importance of curb appeal

From a woman whose Christmas lights are still blinking in March

I raised my hand

She said "we'll take questions at the end"

I said "it's not a question. It's a point of order."

She looked at me

I opened my legal pad

I said "Section 4.2 requires seasonal decorations to be removed within 30 days. Your Christmas lights have been up for 97 days. You fined me $50 for 11 minutes of trash can visibility on collection day while you've been in violation for over three months."

The room was quiet

One of the other three complainers said "he's right"

The board members looked at each other

Karen said "that's a separate issue"

I said "it's the same bylaws"

She said "we'll review it"

I said "I already did. Page 12. Happy to share my highlights."

My wife looked at the ceiling

Some things never change

Karen said "I think we should move on"

I said "agreed. I'll move on when the Christmas lights do."

Nobody laughed

I wasn't joking

I paid the $50

Because it's $50 and I'm not going to die on that hill

But if the rules apply to me they apply to everyone

So I filed a formal complaint about the lights

With photos

Timestamped

Funny how surveillance works both ways

The fine for seasonal decoration violations is $75 per occurrence

She's been in violation for 67 days past the 30-day grace period

I'll let her do the math

Or I'll do it for her

Because that's what I do

Make common sense common again

Plz fix. Thx.

Sent from my iPhone

[Emily @emivipers]

@GamewithDave Little Bear: Rainy Day Activities

[Emily @emivipers]

@ceraliza Duh.

[Emily @emivipers]

@Hotmomofive @Amelia558rs Yes please! Rescues always need towels

[Emily @emivipers]

Hey @Xfinity @XfinitySupport make this make sense - simple core (10) channels, simple wifi, and an overly simple LANDLINE and you're charging $170???

[Emily @emivipers]

@macombdaily can y'all tell your agents to stop belligerently arguing with people who are trying to end the subscription of someone who is DEAD? I should not have had to yell SHE'S DEAD at the top of my lungs while they're continuing on and on about your prices

[Emily @emivipers]

@freep can y'all stop harassing people who have cancelled their subscription? How many phone calls will you make to a dead woman's phone? How many of your agents will be forced to hear the words "well, she's dead so she can't read your stupid paper"

[Emily @emivipers]

@chefsevenn Onions

[Emily @emivipers]

@SteveOnSpeed Everyone is different and every couple is different. If it works, it works.