Emma King

[DJ Square @thomasthesquare]

someone said my dog looks like Will Ferrell and I can’t unsee it now

[HOOD VOGUE is tired of poverty @keyon]

Elmo

[julia hava @binchcity]

Joe Biden: I have hidden five rapid tests in chocolate bars across the country. The winners will receive a full tour of my factory as well as a lifetime supply of chocolate

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

[nicholas cage voice] we’re going to steal a digital receipt saying we own the declaration of independence

[JP @jpbrammer]

in my hometown wearing a blazer and yelling on business calls for the next two days in the hopes it will attract a strapping young man who will show me the true meaning of Christmas

[Allison Reese🛸 @alienreese]

Fully insane to suggest that I go laugh inside of a Limited Too dressing room

[smokeyhouse @surajdukhii]

The feminine urge to achieve everything in your life before 25

[Admiral Snaccbar 🐙 @Chris_Mench]

Me reading some of y’all’s tweets:

[Michael Ocampo @michael_ocampo]

Bella! Where the hell you been loca! 🐺

[HOOD VOGUE is tired of poverty @keyon]

Why everybody dressed up as scooby doo characters this year I’m really crying

[Rob @thegallowboob]

imagine having a historic mental breakdown and cutting your ear off then years later it’s sold as an eraser

[trash jones @jzux]

the problem with work is there isn’t a single thing on this earth i want to do every day

[Ken Armstrong @bykenarmstrong]

Three police officers went to an *elementary* school in Tennessee & arrested four Black girls.

One girl fell to her knees. Another threw up. Police handcuffed the youngest, an 8 yo with pigtails.

Their supposed crime? Watching some boys fight — and not stopping them. (THREAD)

[Bryan Behar @bryanbehar]

Literally, name a single medicine you’ve taken in your entire life where you had to “do your own research” before consuming.

“These Flintstone’s Chewable Vitamins look alright. But I’m gonna run a double-blind test just to be sure.”

[PFT Commenter @PFTCommenter]

God’s are letting us know- Kentucky moneyline

[Menace ² Society @kingtrelll]

“i gave her heroine”