Marie Elise

aw tweet tweet

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

Seen irl. If this isn’t the best bus ad in existence, idk what is 💩@RotoRooter

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

‘I don’t give a rat’s ass’ is such a bizarre colloquialism.

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

The feminine urge to go to Home Depot with no real agenda, just a general want to build, re-up on spackle, adopt twelve new plant children, and indulge on that 20 V cordless impact driver with carrying case, extra battery and bit set you’ve been eyeing.

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

A gnat just flew into my eye and died upon impact. Happy Friday to all.

[Taylor & Pond @TaylorPond]

At Taylor & Pond we believe in getting up, putting in work and making stuff happen. 💪 Double tap if you agree. ❤️

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

Mr. Darcy at the Meryton ball

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

The universe would make more sense if you could see it in context.

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

@_cat_wizard Well said

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

Two elderly British ladies greeting each other

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

The hwind is blowing me sideways on the freeway. Let’s friggin’ RIDE.

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

@nordrr I mean, sorry for your loss.

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

@nordrr nerd.

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

Salsa is basically just spicy, overdressed salad 🌶

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

Being in my thirties and apparently at my “sexual prime” is a weeeeeeird time. Half the time I’m like, ew babies. The other half I’m like, MUST GET PREGNANT NOW OR WILL CEASE TO HAVE MEANING 👀 #MondayMusings

[Jennifer Wright @JenAshleyWright]

After 2020 I'm never going to question why they keep opening up Jurassic Park despite obvious safety issues.

[The Hustle @TheHustle]

Me as soon as the clock strikes 12:00 am

[Kay M. Dingwell🍁🩺🏳️‍🌈 @CanadianKayMD]

Using negative COVID tests to decide if it’s safe to go to parties is like using pregnancy tests as contraception.

[Skoog @Skoog]

women be like "men are trash" and then swan dive into a dumpster named garret

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

"New year, new me," I say as I disappear and eventually resurface as the Count of Monte Cristo

[Marie Elise @emmlicious89]

@nordrr Excuse you.