Ben Dover

I don’t tweet my ~every~ unhinged thought..just few a’ dem

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Men don’t slip on banana peels like they used to

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Ur honor u dumb af if u actually believe him

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

You’re really tryna tell me that Santa subsisted on a diet purely comprised of Christmas shit? Cookies and milk? Candy canes, hot chocolate, and fruit cake?

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

I’m slurping the rest of my birria consumé and thinking about you

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

I passed the bar!!!!! I was going too fast. Have to make a u-turn

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

You look like you’d be into that (derogatory)

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Babe what do you mean you don’t fw Enya??

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

“Would you commit a crime of passion?”

- Everything I do is passionate.

“So..yes?”

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

You’re like an annoying brother to me

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Getting h*gh on an empty stomach like wow this was so easy

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Don’t be so hard on yourself babe, be hard in me instead

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

No babe you go ahead and crash out. Lmk how it goes

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

(Writing smut) “He palmed my a$$ cheeks like two perfectly filled basketballs”

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

You’re just jealous that I’m full of joy and whimsy and everyone I come across sees it and feels it.

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

(F*cking fwb) Dude I’m about to cum

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Not now babe I wanna suffer alone right now

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

(Flirting) Your pants look a bit ill-fitting maybe you should take them off

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

No more names you shall now address me as ‘the Anomaly’

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Not a veteran but I still think you should thank me for my cervix 🫡

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

Being online feeds my brain worm

[Ben Dover @emo_octopus]

I didn’t “fall” in love it was a choice