Emily Borum

Just your average aspiring alcoholic.

[Pabst Blue Ribbon @PabstBlueRibbon]

Iwrestledabeeronce

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

There’s a special place in hell for whoever decided we should put robots in charge of directing phone calls.

[Anna @Anna_Condaa]

This is your biannual reminder from me that Autism Speaks is a hateful organization and don't donate to them.
Also don't watch Sia's musical/movie MUSIC for a lot of reasons (talk to Actually Autistic people)
That's all. Goodnight.

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

A woman sent in 350 pictures of her pet rats today and it’s all I can think about

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

I let my cat inside when I came home from work to find that he was already inside and I’ve let in an imposter

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

My dog is currently laying on my porch cuddling a dead squirrel that she just murdered and I’m not okay about it

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

Last night a bunch of kids prank called me. Brittan somehow became best friend’s with them and they all started referring to me as his bitch. I hate it here.

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

I don’t wanna be essential anymore. I didn’t ask for this.

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

If my cats starve to death because you greedy sons of bitches are hoarding all the cat food, some serious John Wick shits about to go down.

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

You know you live a sad life when the pizza delivery guy notices you got a new front door

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

In the past week I’ve had to replace my break pads, my rotors and my battery. I miss my civic so much 😭

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

I really love it when customers think they know more than me about my job like I haven’t been doing it 40 hours a week for the past 6 fucking years

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

Call me old fashioned but I think trains kick ass. I don’t need hot wheels to get to class.

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

Asked my boyfriend to stop whatever he was doing just to come to my work and give me a hug. He fucking did it and I’ve never felt more powerful in my entire life.

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

Find you a man that sends you memes while he’s in the next room poopin ❤️

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

@Pennyrod86 It’s what the plants crave

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

I’ve been to 3 different elementary schools today and I ain’t even got no damn kids

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

@Pennyrod86 What kinda drugs you been doing

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

@Amw_94 Bitches 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Emily Borum @emolayy95]

Friendly reminder that it costs $0 to mind your fucking business