Emperor Palpatine

Everyone who does not follow me is an enemy of the republic!

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@cobracommander Only five flasks? You sound like a Jedi.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

Obama is into eugenics? Perhaps there is hope for the planet Earth after all.

@The_Darth_Vader Barrack shall make an excellent apprentice.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

As for today, I have a plan laid for obliterating a few distant systems, all of which containing the large concentrations of Twilight fans.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

Evidently I have a more violent side, @EmPalpatine.

Perhaps when one is so strong with the force, the force may split the being in twain.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

It appears to me that the movie Dark Crystal is nothing more than a child's tale -- not quite the evil prophecy I thought it would be.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@AdmiralDaala Correct. It's not as simple as spouting salty gibberish, yelling "aargh!" A good grimace helps, or you can just kill someone.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@AdmiralDaala To emote evil as a pirate, drink.

Ex:(downs 1/5 rum) Cast yer ayes on the par of this bat'l staysh-n (blows up Anaxes, pukes)

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@AdmiralDaala In my Emp-aargh, every day be a pirate's day. To the previous statement on whiny bitches, someone must man the tie-fighters.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

Something tells me the bowl of frosted mini-wheats I ate was stale. The emperor is displeased with his breakfasts lack of freshness. Uggh.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@LordVaders_Boy

Fair enough.

When nine hundred years old you get...

Wait, that's not my line.

Blasted Alzheimer's.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@The_Darth_Vader Capital idea on Risk Lord Vader, we'll leave Kashyyyk to the bounty hunters.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@The_Darth_Vader Galactic Insurance claims, family grievances and whatnot -- no need for such nonsense right now.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@The_Darth_Vader Rise Lord Vader, there's much to be done. I hit a wookie on the way back from Coruscant, we should destroy Kashyyyk at once

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

They call this drink black?

Starbucks and I've different views on hue.

I was expecting something evil-er (sips quintuple tall Empiricano).

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@LordVaders_Boy Come on, I'm not that bad. Compared to those in the Spice Mines, I'm a real looker. You must search outside your feelings.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@The_Darth_Vader

Should PayPal not resolve this, we shall crush them.

I smell a plot to scam the Empire -- unrest, and negative feedback.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@The_Darth_Vader

Good (clapping slowly, laughing)...

Now if only I could settle that dispute over the gas mining colony I've sold on eBay.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@LordVaders_Boy Withered sack? You'd know wouldn't you? When the Darkside graces your chin again, look closer, I'm just kegeling with evil.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@The_Darth_Vader

We will show them what a Red Ring of Death means to the Empire!!!

Show no mercy.

[Emperor Palpatine @emperorp]

@The_Darth_Vader

Go to the Best Buy on the farthest planet of the Bothawui System. Ask the first clerk you see for a manager -- kill them.