GWR_not

Parody, obviously. We’re the totally hopeless railway between London and the South West. Useless and satisfied with that.

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@WillTheTrainRun @GWRHelp No.

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@iratekommuter @chimadder From the whole #GWR team, we hope your move went terribly and that you have a damp problem in your new home.

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@paddingtonbert @GWRHelp The investigation has now been concluded, Robbo and we can confirm that the delay was caused by our inability to operate a railway.

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@GWRFailway Yes, we love it.

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@jdp420 @GWRHelp No.

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@iratekommuter We disagree. We’ve worked extremely hard to be the ‘worst train folk’ and we think we’re doing pretty well!

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@Swiss_uk You live on a boat? This is why we provide you with such a disappointing service, you water gypsy.

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@paul_lobban @Rochdale_Cowboy @GWRHelp @CommutingRants @GWRFailway There’s no hope for any of you. We actually have plenty of spare trains in the depot and, if anything, too many members of staff but what’s the point in going out of our way to help when we can cause misery, instead?

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@iratekommuter Good good! Shame there was a seat available for you.

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@hostagetoGWR @GWRHelp You’re more than welcome. Unhappy Birthday for yesterday.

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@cwaaac Clearly didn’t use one of our services to get there.

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@Swiss_uk @GWRHelp It’s #Friday tomorrow so all our staff will sod off early or call in sick.

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@swanseaexpat We don’t actually know, Ellie. Thankfully, we have never provided a service consistent enough to result in a - as you say- “satisfied customer”. The thought of it does make me somewhat queasy.

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@swanseaexpat We do, occasionally, leave the origin station - we usually cancel a few stations further on. We look back, fondly, on Brunel although travelling between London and the West was quicker, more comfortable and far cheaper 150 years ago which we do not agree with.

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@swanseaexpat You have yet to tell us to “fuck off” but due to GDPR, you do have the right to request that we stop contacting you. Be warned, however, that by unregistering, you will not receive any help from us if you’re ever stranded on our network (which is, let’s be frank, pretty likely).

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@swanseaexpat Your patience is “lower than absolute fucking zero”? Now you sound like a real GWR customer - we’d thank you for your custom over the years but we don’t really care for you - or any other customers, for that matter.

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@jdp420 @GWRHelp It’s never going to change, JP. Somehow (and this is impressively woeful, even for us), we’ve actually managed to misplace your usual 8 coach HST and can’t seem to locate it. Presumably it’s on rails somewhere but we are unable to confirm this suspicion at this moment in time.

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@MrsScreech @GWRHelp @GrumpNow @GWRYelp @GWRFailway @Crap_GWR Nah.

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@paddingtonbert @GWRHelp And now you’ve experienced it! Now that we’ve introduced more of our 2 carriage Turbos, you’ll get the experience it more and more - you’re welcome, Robbo!

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@jdp420 @GWRHelp Hi! What happened was: a company totally unable to operate a railway was given a railway to operate. That’s all there is to it.