Jasmine

‘I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity’

[Nicholas Kibler Myers @NicholasKM2001]

At this rate, the majority of British citizens will be ex-Prime Ministers by 2050.

[blue @bluewmist]

honestly once you realize you’re not in trouble all the time and really no one has power over you, the second half of life begins

[A @seattleiminyou]

Sorry if I emasculated you I was spoken to like a grown man when I was growing up

[♰ @reeceollld]

"imma just wake up early and do it then"

[Jenni @hashjenni]

"i’ll do it when i get home"
Me when I get home:

[jay ✰ @jayythewave]

this what i mean when i say “👀”

[Neil Stone @DrNeilStone]

This is what a REAL scientific breakthough looks like

Not that Tylenol stuff

[𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚 ☢ @King_Sukunaaa]

seeing glitter graphics like this in 2024 is like seeing a cave painting…lost art form 💕

[ally @missmayn]

my boyfriend wants to start a company called “just” and manufacture stuff like a refrigerator that’s just a refrigerator or a washing machine that just washes your clothes and their products have no tech and work for at least 15+ years.

[adry 🐚 @sunsolarz]

i'm convinced my life would be so much better if i had one of those window seats

[dinosaur @dinosaurs1969]

we live in the ruins of a greater civilization

[Gerry McBride @GerryMcBride]

Someone should write a book about this

[such ryot and welfare and ydlenesse 🍄 🏳️‍⚧️ @socialimmedia]

americans be like "MM:DD:YY" is how u say dates verbally and then have a national holiday called "4th of July"

[alyssa 🦭 @mistapussy]

I’ve seen a lot of marine mammal experts say they don’t know why seals stick their tongues out sometimes which implies it’s simply in their nature to be silly

[gabe @allgarbled]

“Lmao” has survived, and even thrived, over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.