Evan Fischer

Opportunist. Thinker. Tinkerer. Self-starter. Mechanical Engineer. Hobby Chef. Wanderer. Ever-curious.

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

PB2 is the dippin dots of peanut butter
#pb2

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Jokes are verbal memes

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

If a banana makes a zipper noise when you peel off the skin, it is not ripe enough for this guy

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Creating a new species. Designed and built in California 🐼 #FF91 #FaradayFuture #919FuturistDay #FightToTheFirst #electriccar https://t.co/oJwl7OyYLf

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Run The Jewels is chicken soup for the ganster's soul #RTJ

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

If you rearrange the letters in Santa Claus you get Jeff Bezos

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

...from smartphone to artphone #lt

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

In the future, we will use obsolete smartphones as beverage coasters

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Coffee is proof that God loves us and wants us to be productive

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

If you wanna know what eating a gluten free cookie tastes like, try eating a sugar packet without removing it from the paper

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Chaos is the nature of the universe

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

To be honest I really miss "De-Gaussing" CRT computer monitors

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Uggs look like the inner lining of a really fancy boot

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Pet peeve # 83: when people ask "can you not ___" OF COURSE I CAN. It's what I was doing before you asked me that useless question

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

Every human and company's #CarbonFootprint should be tracked

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

All products should be labeled with the mass of #CO2 and greenhouse gas they produce. #EveryPenny spent is an ethical act.

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

@POTUS #NODAPL SHUT IT DOWN. DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION. #StandWithStandingRock

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

What's next? Brock Turner for supreme court justice?

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

One Nation, polarized, with injustice and hate-speech for all.

[Evan Fischer @ephish]

#MakeSNLGreatAgain