0d

joyous positives and despairing negatives

[0d @erhmahgerhd]

sext: i filled up your brita pitcher

[krem @inkrementals]

listening ears are ON

[lonnie @aubreyplazawyd]

It’s shoot yourself in the head until your brains spill out August who celebrating

[matt @ruffledsavior]

stop calling my thing a hog. it's a cute little piglet. with manners. you're being gross

[gumball @gnmball]

becoming a plumber was never about the money. it's all about the access to the medicine cabinets

[Gale Na @poisonjr]

Promiscuous squirrel you're teasin' me you stole all my nuts now you're up in that tree

[⟢ ⟣ @vamptact]

Son, your mother and i are unfollowing eachother on instagram

[chris oldman © @AlsikkanTV]

crackers with cheese :)

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

if i was a horse and my rider went unconscious and fell off me i would drag them on the ground for sooooo many miles

[josef k hole @poeticdweller]

Sorry for being such a bitch yesterday i havent had an ice cream cone in like 4 days

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

the stripper just wants my copper

[jim −☆ @zimzalajim]

almost cried at work today and then i randomly remembered this tweet and i burst out laughing

[chey @iwishurosesxo]

yearning for you on company time

[Lee ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ @rylandgraceful]

made first contact and the alien had a fagcent

[joey @joboduj]

officer i had no idea i was even driving

[chatpile roan @chatpileroan]

it's going to be this always

[mars @marsup1al]

getting off my high horse to beat the dead horse

[mikey 🕺✨ @mikeytalks2much]

the neighbor’s brother came home in a box.