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⚡️AkEric⚡️
@eric_backlund
Rainforest dwelling conservative who believes in the United States Constitution and magic rocks. Stir the pot or poke the bear, your choice.
Ketchikan, AK
Joined May 2020
609 Following
183 Followers
8.1K Posts
Pinned Tweet
@ConceptualJames That these sweet, little souls survived a week under mud slide rubble!
@BDebodine It's like we're on the set of "The Hunt for Red Velvet Cookies" brought to you by @keksibakery
@AlexMLeo It had to be said, thank you.
@1True_American_ Nobody seems to remember The Big Chill anymore.
@KeithMalinak Careful, its a felony now.
@joshstifter A Clockwork Orange at the age of 8 does things to a fella.
@PatUnleashed This is why we have to build data centers? Really?
@rhodesiankingss @_Patriot1776Q_ Store employees don't have to help customers? Is that really what you just said? You might just be part of the problem.
@Mario_Sneh This is why cops put speed traps at the bottom of hills.
Alright Degenerates!
People have asked me my thoughts on GRUNGE!!!!
Well, you miserable flannel fuckers asked for it. I FUCKING HATE GRUNGE!🖕
Grunge took Rock n Roll, shot it full of heroin, stole its guitar solo, dressed the corpse like an unemployed roofer and convinced Rolling Stone the fucking smell was “Authenticity”
The 80s gave us guitar Gods, monster riffs, screaming vocals, swagger, sex and enough excess to make Caligula tell everybody to calm the Fuck down!
Grunge gave us greasy dudes dressed like they were about to repossess your water heater.
And THIS was the revolution?!
Musically? Three chords, enough distortion to hide the evidence, and some miserable fucker moaning like a constipated walrus trapped in a dryer.
Then Nirvana hands us!
“A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido”
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
That’s not lyrical genius. That’s a concussion playing Mad Libs.
Pearl Jam? Eddie Vedder sounds like a drunk moose trying to order breakfast through a scuba regulator. Every fucking vowel gets dragged behind the song until even the alphabet wants a restraining order.
But nothing beats the hypocrisy.
“We hate fame.”
“We hate corporations.”
“Selling out is bullshit”
Sure you do?!
Major label contract?Where do I sign?
MTV? Let me fix my flannel!
Arena tour? Hell yeah!
Funny how Captain Fuck Corporate suddenly found capitalism when the checks started clearing.
They didn’t hate selling out. They hated other bands selling out first.
Hair Metal never bullshitted anybody. It wanted loud guitars, giant solos, women, money, ridiculous hair and a party that required fucking legal representation.
Grunge showed up, pawned the guitar solo, pissed in the punch bowl, killed the fucking party and then gave everybody a lecture about why having fun made them shallow.
Fuck that!
It gave it a heroin habit, dressed it like a substitute janitor and convinced an entire generation that looking fucking miserable was a personality.
FUCK GRUNGE!
I said what I said!
It ain’t easy being Sleazy! #JLoS
@MattPinner_ If you can pull it off, you make your own occasion!
@BrodyWayneMedia Your fear of irrelevance is amazing!
@ThrillaRilla369 I once had an eventful encounter with an ill-tempered moose on a cold January night.
@TravisLond45750 @HawkEmDownChris Didn't he have some college records in track, also? Am I remembering wrong?
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