Eric Jacobs

Middle management. I think we could be friends.

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

12yo: How many people follow you on Twitter?
Me: Like 10
12yo: I don’t believe you
Me: You don’t believe it’s only 10?
12yo: No, I don’t believe it’s that many
🤣🤣🤣
12yo: So who follows you?
Me: A bunch of the Huy’s...
12yo: Oh, that number makes sense now
🤣🤣🤣

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

9yo: who knew raccoons were so delicious

5yo: i did

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

9yo: why don’t they ever make any age appropriate murder mysteries?

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

Me: use your words, I don’t understand wine

4yo: ya but you speak it

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@drewdyck Wax gum

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

16yo: What is your Dad’s name?

3yo: Uhmm, welll, Bluey’s dad’s name is Bandit

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

Me: I’m your Dad I’m allowed to teach you things

3yo: But I already know things

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

Me: Take your backpack off and get in your seat

3yo: Dad, stop teaching me things

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

[ dropping 16yo off at school ]

3yo: Bye, have a good day, see you tomorrow, don’t get the monsters

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@clhubes every line is gold

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@HackForumsNet @barstoolsports I've had 6 babies. I'm good at consoling a crying baby. After 5 babies I thought I knew all the tricks, however our 6th baby would cry for over an hour straight. My wife and I would try everything and we couldn't soothe her (and this was in the comfort of our own home)

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@xBean__ @vixmarin @HackForumsNet I've had 6 babies. I'm good at consoling a crying baby. After 5 babies I thought I knew all the tricks, however our 6th baby would cry for over an hour straight. My wife and I would try everything and we couldn't soothe her (and this was in the comfort of our own home)

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

[listening in on 6th grade birthday party]

Girl1: no actually murdering yet

Girl2: wait, hold on, what do you mean by “actually murder” ?

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@CosmicSkeptic Great job on your interview with William Lane Craig. You are genuinely inquisitive and gave Craig space to reply. Well done.

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

7yo: Don’t you love it when it rains so hard that it sounds like eggs are cooking?

[Jessica Jacobs @jessmariejacobs]

Me: I like to bring your dad on trips so that he can carry my bags and stuff

7y/o: so basically you married him for free birth?

Me: you mean free labor? Yes, I did

7 y/o: we’ll, that’s just cold

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@RyanPauly3 1

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@jsparkblog Go with the smile

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@KevinOConnorNBA Because everyone loses 1 year of their life when the officials go to the review table

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@mikeywaters3 S-town

[Eric Jacobs @eric_jacobs]

@megannnkoontz Violent Femmes