Eric Goldstein

Lehigh '13 '14G

[Eric Goldstein @EricGoldstein24]

Liam Shane Goldstein was born on Monday 9/18/23, weighing 6 lbs and 3 oz. I am officially the happiest and luckiest man on the planet ☺️💙✅

[Eric Goldstein @EricGoldstein24]

Excited to announce the biggest dub of all: my wife is pregnant!!! Due date 9/28. Can’t wait 😀 🍼👶🎉🎊

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

[AlphaFox @alphafox]

Man's penis and nose accidentally swapped in medical mistake: �

[Alex @ajak1033]

The Spurs know how to TAKE the lead, they just don't know how to HOLD the lead. And that's really the most important part of the lead: the holding

[sgb @sadgirlyboss]

love how we say "slept like a baby" when babies are, objectively speaking, the worst demographic of sleepers

[Buzz Patterson @BuzzPatterson]

The Iranian Air Force is down to their last guy.🤣

[kayz3d🇦🇷 @kay_z67]

??😭

[Timothy Johnson @MiamiCanes1971]

The British being unprepared to perform on American soil has been a tradition since 1776

[Football Crave @FootballCravee]

In Madden 27’s Career Mode you can now beat your wife before heading out to practice.

[Saad Yousuf @SaadYousuf126]

the fact he may carve out time to attend two basketball games merely weeks after saying he didn’t have time to attend his own son’s wedding is objectively hilarious 😂

[Hans Fiene 🦬 @HansFiene]

Sorry, but there's no way you're building a billion mile long ship for sixteen dollars

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

they cannot trick me… i know carter bryant is a 6yo who made a wish to get BIGged like tom hanks in the movie

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

The Curt Cignetti College Football 27 cover looks like the poster for a 1994 Disney movie in which a recently divorced NFL head coach decides to coach an underachieving high school team of misfits as a way to reconnect with his son who's grown distant after his parents split up.

[GhettoGronk @ghetto_gronk]

Mike Vrabel breaking up with Dianna Russini after the AJ Brown trade goes through

[Hubie Talks Hoops @HubieTalksHoops]

You think Wemby's run is impressive?

In June of 2011, JJ Barea—5 and a half feet tall—locked down LeBron James in the Finals and impregnated Miss Universe. We may never see another run like that.

[Chopped Unc @canceled_corpse]

My hotel room has a Cuck Command Center

[BetMGM 🦁 @BetMGM]

The Spurs went to 6 Finals
Won 5 of them
Lost Tim Duncan
Entered a rebuild
Went 22-60
Drafted Wemby
Changed head coaches
Went from 34 to 62 wins
Made the Finals again

All before the Cowboys made it back to the NFC Championship

[Blue Eyes White Dragon @babahoshii]

Met a guy on the bus who was explaining that that he likes to ride public transit to try and meet women because a woman who has made enough poor life decisions to be forced to take the bus might make another one and date him

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Police officer accused a woman of using her right hand to text while driving…

She proved her case in one second

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

Villains are not born, they are made

[DECAGON @D3cagon]

According to my calculations as a full-time masturbator with over 9 years of field experience, no.

Let MT = Masturbation Time and SIT = Sexual Intercourse Time.

Given:
MT = 2 minutes.

Now, assuming you've been using lubricant and not operating under Sahara Desert conditions, your projected SIT should be somewhere between 37.5 and 48.2 seconds.

Why?

Because your equation is missing several important variables:

• Woman Wetness (WW)
• Vaginal Grip (VG)
• Heat Multiplier (HM)
• Adrenaline Coefficient (AC)
• "Omo, this thing is actually happening" Factor (OTHIAHF)

After applying these variables to the Decagon Formula, your time reduces significantly.

However...

If you've been doing dry-hand training all these years, then the shock of warmth, wetness, and the fact that another human being is involved may reduce your SIT to approximately 19.6–25.7 seconds.

Therefore:

MT = 2 minutes (with lubricant)
→ SIT = 37.5–48.2 seconds

MT = 2 minutes (dry hand)
→ SIT = 19.6–25.7 seconds.

Yours sincerely,

DECAGON
BSc. Applied Masturbation Mathematics (AMM)
Department of Theoretical Ejaculatory Physics