Eric Thede

I've weighed down the earth

[PAINS @PAINSUSA]

If you’re an ICE agent you gotta start chugging the shit under the sink immediately. Do not stop. Do not stop.

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

I don’t care if this makes me a “film bro”. Watching movies should burn your retinas and permanently damage your vision

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@harleybaghdad That’s Michael 👆🏻

[Thomas White @len0killer]

Not a single damn thought in the old noggin today. Just looking around

[sports tweeter Matthias (tonesetter) @sportswaatcher]

Obama era pigskin #wow

[my life is a living hell. every minute is torture @on_da_spectrum]

It never ceases to amaze me that there aren’t thousands of major, multi-fatality car crashes every day, that people who believe stuff like this are able to drive to work, get food from the store, etc without accidentally blowing themselves and everyone around them up

[Handsome B. Charming @CTachio83984]

guy at the bank says you have never been able to haggle over your bank balance, im saying that im positive the last guy who worked here let me do it

[Got CTE from playing Peek-a-Boo @doulbedoink]

The Vikings gritting out a 14-2 record against all expectations, raising genuine super bowl hopes, and then completely shitting the bed in the final 2 games to flunk out of the wild card is what most NFL experts refer to as a “Prank.”

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@betterlovers @jordanbuckley will there be any #FroggyFlash tattooing going on during blissmas weekend? I see HoD on the website, any chance they’ll have some time blocked off for blissmas walk-ins?

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@ParkerSpears So I work for an a/v production company and a couple of years ago the Big Boy went past our warehouse. My boss had us set up cameras and mics in the parking lot to record it going by. There were people in lawn chairs by the tracks for hours before it came by, it was awesome

[mark leidner @markleidner]

my worst nightmare is being an olympic judge after they let xenomorphs compete. draping a medal over a xenomorph’s hideous head while they hiss at me, inches from my face, only for a second head to come out their tooth-filled maw… and i have to drape another tiny medal over it

[Jon Bois @jon_bois]

operator: 911, what is your emergency
me: at long last, the super bowl is coming to las vegas – and football fans are “all in”
operator: you can say that again. from slot receivers to slot machines, and from roulette wheels to wheel routes, this is one super bowl th–
me: *click*

[You Know Who @MuskTillDawn]

Dudes will see this and yell “fuck yes!! Hell yes!!”

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@_errrrrrr Brock Stewart to da world series! My brother was in his car for behind-the-wheel drivers ed. Think the twins actually have a shot against houston?

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@ParkerSpears Nice. It’s grown on me the more I’ve listened to it, I love the way they layer their guitar parts.

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@ParkerSpears I just listened to that album this morning, what did you think? They’re always worth seeing imo, consider this a vote for you road trippin

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@_errrrrrr For whatever it’s worth, this one will stay with me forever, I say it to myself once or twice a week

[Eric Thede @ericthede]

@idlesband can’t make the trip over to kansas city tomorrow, I have 2 extra tickets for the show, asking $50 total but really just want them to go to someone who can use them