chavi's girly griefposting 🌜

if your knees only bend in one direction, i can fix that for you. 🏳️‍🌈

[chavi's girly griefposting 🌜 @erinchavi]

yeah i snitched on them to my boss immediately bc i held my ground and i went downstairs and LO AND BEHOLD they were disciplined. bc what the fuck do you MEAN you're gonna make a 19 year old girl stay upstairs with a tornado in the immediate area bc you wanna sell cars

[chavi's girly griefposting 🌜 @erinchavi]

still pissed about the time we had one and i told the new girl how to close up shop so we could take shelter in the basement (as i had w my boss the last time one came through) and the fuckin sales managers held her back and said someone had to stay behind to answer phones

[cubicle claire @soupyluver]

didn’t realize working a corporate job means ignoring tornado warnings

[cruelty+ ♅ @portal222heaven]

i have thought about this tweet 10+ times a day since moving to brooklyn

[bug girl @buggirl]

great way to quickly get all of ur cats into the basement during a tornado siren is to make the basement forbidden never let them down there until it’s time and then when u open the door they’re like omgg this is awesome…… lets go girls NOW HURRY BEFORE SHE TAKES IT AWAY GO GO

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Shop wanna charge 2 grand for front and rear brakes hell nah player I got a better idea I will buy all the parts and watch YouTube and then break my car completely then kill myself.

[lizzy 🔌 @aridlizzy]

having to use the Wayback Machine to access basic documentation

[Snoopy&woodstock🐾 @Snoopylover04]

happy birthday snoopy❤️🎂

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

I would 100% get killed by an arrow if I had to storm a castle. Like there wouldn't even be a point for me to carry a weapon I'd be dead 500 feet away from the wall. I could just wear flip flops and a bathing suit there'd be no difference

[frank zeppo @NoahPasternak]

There's no point. I dug up Dobby seven years ago and ate him. Smoked him like a brisket

[Catherine Warr @HiddenYorkshire]

Deliberately misspelling words is one of my favourite types of humour because anyone can misspell words normally, but it takes a special type of genius to breakdown words into phonetic, layered jokes...heindzeit, the back-time, is actual genius

[chavi's girly griefposting 🌜 @erinchavi]

god i wish that were me

[L 🍉 @verynormalgf]

smoking the weed that makes me pet the fuck out of my cat

[Deconstructed Cachapa @AntiClimaco]

Shoutout to this bar in Minneapolis where a guy checked my ID at the door and then another guy came over to check it again because “that guy doesn’t actually work here”

[Beautiful Normal Woman @SillyBWoman]

Sometimes I get Really Anxious and feel like I have No Friends but in Reality I have 3 of Them

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Guy dressed as the grim reaper was just driving a car with my exact social security number on his license plate. Probably nothing

[georgeharrisonfan1 @idleweezy]

robert pattinson lowk on a throne that was promised to jake gyllenhaal

[Pukicho @pukicho]

You don't know hurt like I do. Bug bite. Weeaally itchy.