ok spida

A smug, unhappy little man who treats people as if they were idiots.

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

@PeterFinchGolf i am become death, destroyer of worlds

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

@budweisertrue this one will make you see god

in the shower

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

every time i go anywhere lately the employees are operating at borderline panic

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

they call it covid-19 because it has a proprietary blend of 19 different herbs and spices

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

what kind of pyschopath would enjoy listening to a live album

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

my fav xmas song is Whose Kid Is This?

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

when God shits in your house, He opens a window

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

You have a buddy named Coop, Smitty, or Sully. He is fun at parties.

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

Tiger and YE Yang rekindling an old rivalry on page 10 of the world rankings

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

@RiggsBarstool scary calm

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

Jack Frost nipping out his clothes

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

in an argument with my niece over who’s a bigger piece of shit, The Grinch or Scrooge

[Kurt Crowbrain @kermitbeezy]

Will Arnett voice:

"Houstey we have a probby"

[kristofer thomas @kristoferthomas]

just took my pug on the subway in a tote bag. he delicately licked the elbow of the woman standing in front of me, who then let out easily the most blood-curdling scream i have ever heard in my life

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

the funniest and simplest typo i’ve ever seen was when someone emailed me “it was god speaking with you today”

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

That AI algorithm that chooses to aggressively advertise the product that you literally just purchased... that could be improved.

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

fish tacos all day but if you tried to sell fish nachos you would get fucking killed

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

say what you want about Yahoo, but their March Madness platform is a great way to remind you of their existence (and remind you of the pw you used to use)

[ok spida @erobbdigi]

CAPTCHA got me wondering if im a bot

[Rink @stinkyrink]

It's gotta feel insanely good to be a cow and let out a huge moo