Holden Milk, Esq.

A bunch of milk, held in your hands. @CHSSTFans Chief Marine Biologist and Legal Advisor. Tweets are not legal advice, they’re tweets. What are you, a cop?

[Kess @betaraycarrie]

Simultaneously a food crime and the "Most Legal", it's @CHSSTFans legal advisor Holden Milk @EsqMilk #blaseball

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

i’m uncomfortable

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@RFoluler no spice here, i’m too white

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@HungryMonitor @VelaSauce i’m watching you with my milk eyes, squid friend

👀
🥛
🤲

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@BoozleN @glabeofthemoon i can neither confirm nor deny

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@BlobCostas technically speaking, there is no court with jurisdiction over the north pole, which is the only reason santa isn’t in flederal prison

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

👀
���

[Jay Finch (BoozleNoodle) @BoozleN]

Hey @blaseball ... I have -531 coins. Does that mean I am indebted to some sort of Baseball Loan Shark and is it an actual shark? #blaseball @EsqMilk do I need a lawyer

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@BlobCostas @not_hendrik @SplortsCaster certainly could at least make a case for intentional or negligent infliction of emotional distress. blaseball can be charged with knowing how important it is to us all

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

🤲 🥛

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

Illegal

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@InezzzOwens 🤲 🥛

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

reports of my association with the Milk Proxy Society are false

!⃝ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@KansasIi your clone might be, but they’d have to indemnify you. so yes but also no. 🤲 🥛

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@KBetmint perfect 🤲 🥛

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@KBetmint yes i recommend modeling them after CVS receipts

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@KBetmint the answer is it’s their fault because if nobody was there it wouldn’t be unsafe because it couldn’t harm anyone. it’s only unsafe when people are there and you’re not MAKING anyone be there. so really if you think about it the fans should be paying for safety railings

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

@KBetmint you could try that, or you could simply declare that all patrons and players assume the risk of serious bodily harm or death by simply entering - perhaps even gazing upon- the stadium. sure, it’s technically “not safe,” but whose fault is that REALLY?

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

i heard this goku fella went to four seasons landscaping school of law

[Holden Milk, Esq. @EsqMilk]

good afternoon.

today we unseat the commissioner, in spite of the fact that he is doing a good job. some might even say a great one. but that’s up to the jury, is it not?