Apple butter has to be one of the surest signs that we are the global 1%. I took 3 pounds of nutrient-dense food and turned it into 4 cups of dessert …
Rainy autumn days should be automatic PTO. That day is for hot beverages, big blankets, and books.
Same with warm, sunny autumn days. The universe is calling for hammocks and books.
Basically I need all of September and October off.
This morning’s middle school drop-off, exit-intent encouragement for the kids unloading from my car:
“Have a good day and remember: The cover-up is usually worse than the crime!”
👋🏻 👋🏻 👋🏻
No one should work when it’s below zero. If the degrees didn’t even show up today, why must I? Negative temps are for layered blankets and books. What the hell?
Starbucks is really out here asking adults to drink from sippy cups so plastic straws don’t kill all the sea turtles … but then giving me two cups + a sleeve every time I order a simple coffee.
To Whom It May Concern,
I'm sorry, but I can't actually work today. It's my baby's first day of middle school and it's all I can think about.
Unprofessionally,
Mom
First day of school outfits.
Kid 1: Scours graphic Ts, tries several pairs of shoes, asks for a hoodie too (no).
Kid 2: Grabs a T that catches his eye and shorts to match. Refuses, despite my begging, to let me buy him new Sonic high tops b/c he doesn't want new shoes.
🤷♀️
If I could tell my younger self one thing it would be this:
Everything is always a mess.
There's no such thing as a clean house, healthy kids, a beautiful lawn, and a tidy work life.
A clean kitchen AND finished laundry is a dream; not a realistic goal.
You know you've been in B2B tech spaces for a while when the first thing you do before reopening an old conversation is check to see if that brand still exists. Two years is a long time 'round these parts ...
Transformer blew so now all the neighbors are in front yards and kids are mesmerized by fire trucks and firefighters are chatting with dads and I’m waiting for the part where we’re actually in a beer commercial …
Being a WFH boy mom in summer is 100% sitting on the patio or near an open window, so your subconscious can constantly be evaluating the severity of the shouting/screaming/banging, over a three-block radius, on a scale of "Fun" to "Blood."
The neighborhood bicycle gang (my 9 y.o. included) have discovered the joy of wedging a plastic water bottle by their back tires. It sounds like our neighborhood has been overrun by enormous wasps. But also, I know exactly where he is without even going outside, so … win.