It was such an incredible honor to finally meet you, sir. As one of my personal heroes, it was my pleasure to take care of you tonight. Less than a month till the big day! See you back soon. @johnkriesel
I would really like a “Do Not Mail” list, just like the “Do Not Call” list, because I’d rather do my own open heart surgery than get another piece of political mail
Generals in the US Military are required to retire on the first day of the month after turning 64 years old. It is ridiculous that our two options for Commander in Chief in the 2024 election are 17 and 13 years above that.
Feels like the country is in a bad place when I’d rather watch shit slowly come out of my 90-pound Doberman’s asshole at close proximity than the presidential debate.
I’m way too hyped up for the presidential debate tonight. We have a senile 81 year old going up against a convicted felon. How did we get here? Nobody knows but it’s fucked
Shoutout to @KwikTrip for inadvertently resolving my two year old’s tantrum about what to have with dinner tonight. The mixed berry parfait I grabbed earlier today for myself was, apparently, the toddler equivalent of *chef’s kiss* 🤌🤌🤌