Terry Sheltercrank

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

The Summer I Turned Balkan

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

Young Sheldon has breached the Senate chamber

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

“A magician never reveals his sexuality”

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

Had a dream I told a joke to a bunch of friends and made them laugh so hard

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

Falling in a well would be so embarrassing tbh

[🕐HOURLY🕑 shitpost @hourly_shitpost]

ㅤ

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

I fink therefore I am

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

@Guille2258 What do you mean by this

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

@scottram5 Terry Sheltercrank is out indefinitely (gout)

[LA QuakeBot @earthquakesLA]

A 4.7 magnitude earthquake occurred 6.21mi WNW of Malibu, California. Details: https://t.co/3IA7h66mXw Map: https://t.co/gjeAfyudIv

[Complex @Complex]

Raven-Symoné says she has psychic abilities.

"What I believe, actually, is humans have the ability in their brain to tap into energy fields that allow for truth to connect when you know how to translate it correctly.”

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

Constantly living in my own ‘Will they won’t they’ about if I’ll get a lil meatball sub for lunch

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

Are the selling sunsets twins and the property brothers made by the same people?

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

John Cusack and Dustin Hoffman are the same guy. Also I don’t think Vin Diesel could catch on fire

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

LinkedIn is fucked

[The Associated Press @AP]

April is the cruelest month, breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain. https://t.co/3ID91uMXvn

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

Getting a 2 liter of soda makes me feel like the housing crisis didn’t happen

[Terry Sheltercrank @ethan_knutson]

Can’t help but worry when the UPS truck is blasting love the way you lie