Men have absolutely no idea what the majority of good women find attractive. The world is not a fucking MMO, you cannot min/max. Height? Income? Women are fucking psychic bro, they don't care about the color of your tailfeathers.
Coked up degenerates in religious psychosis get laid or have more loving relationships than you because that freak is living from his own center. You aren't. It does not matter that it is destructive or insane. It is his destruction, his own insanity. He is free and untamed, you do tricks learned from 4chan, Reddit, Tumblr, Discord, and whatever other nonsensical hive of rejects like a crippled circus elephant. Just be yourself. Just, be, yourself. In Buddhism there is a concept of the 'original face', it is who you were before you were born, before anything was imprinted on you, before you inherited all of the karma of circumstances. Most men walk around a compartmentalized mess wondering why they feel like they are going crazy, wondering why creating more masks don't seem to resolve their misery. The drug addict, the criminal, the schizo, the artist, they've at least glimpsed at their original face, even if through a cracked mirror. That 'glimpse', that's 'it'. That's swag. Women are not attracted to confidence. They are attracted to those who exist, who inhabit reality, their own reality, not just a mirage that is shambled through whilst following another person's script. The norse concept is called 'hamingja', the power that radiates from people when they are aligned with their fate, their doom, their wyrd. It was said to be impossible to fake, it was the electricity of one who had found their true wyrd and was living it unashamedly. Warriors would switch sides midbattle to follow someone with stronger hamingja, women do the same thing.
What makes Achilles attractive is that he chose his own life, his own dharma, over a long an mediocre one. This is what women are attracted to. It is not that his life was glorious and that he was great, that is merely a consequence of him following his dharma. The Greeks called this 'thumos', the part of the soul that desires recognition and autonomy. Contemporary society destroys this in men, and it is a great shame, replacing it with domesticated "good behavior".
Imagine two guys, both NEETs
"I don't work because I don't want to"
"I don't work and I hate myself for it"
The first one has 'it', the latter does not.
a man being submissive bc it turns him on = alpha
a man being submissive cus he has emotional issues and feels bad = cringe and beta
a man who is not working cus he doesnt want to work = alpha
a man who is not working and feels like a failure cus of it = beta idiot
an ugly man who doesnt give a fuck and owns it = alpha
an ugly man who cares about it and is clearly insecure = into the mines
like a man who slaves away bc he wants to get enough money to cash out = alpha
a man who slaves away bc thats just how he was raised and slaving away gives him a sense of worth = beta idiot
Men struggle with realizing that women are attracted to internal motivations not external realities
you can have 100 men and on paper they're all the same but 50 are internalized and 50 are externalized and women will overwhelmingly go for the ones who are internalized even if you made it like so the internalized men are less wealthy and less attractive. You can be the most submissive effeminate man in the world and still have big dick alpha mode energy if its because YOU want it. You can be broke, ugly, awkward, whatever, that which is authentically yours will work without effort. Sure some people wont like you, in fact many people might not, but this increases the quality, you get someone who will love you authentically, and will not grow disappointed with you. The second you're doing ANYTHING because of some external pressure, because someone told you this is what women want. You're already fucked dawg. You're gone. You're a spirit. And women can see spirits. Most men these days have "the sickness unto death", they are so fucking alienated that they have become hungry ghosts, walking dead. That's most men these days, and we all know it to be true. Women evolved for millions of years to detect genetic fitness, you think they cannot smell spiritual rot? That uncanny feeling they get around you is their soul recognizing that you don't have one.
The "nice guy" is not nice, it is a simulacrum of niceness because he believes courtesy to be currency. When the social vending machine doesn't dispense pussy for masturbation, he rages, and post about how women are evil online. An actual nice person is nice because that is who they are. Women are keen about this difference, they can tell, they've likely been dealing with creepy freaks their entire lives.
You -want- it to be about your height, your jaw, your money, your dick size because deep inside you know that those absolve you of responsibility, it lets you tell the story of "its not my fault". Oh, but it is your fault. Yet this hurts, you cannot admit that you've been spiritually neutered by society and you're walking around like an NPC following dialogue trees and working on algebraic logic. That would mean you need to actually do something hard, that means that you need to dig your soul out from the shallow grave that you shot it into. Most men are doing all of these assortment of things for reasons that are not their own, working jobs they hate for approval they do not even want, being nice to avoid conflict, lifting weights because internet man told them to, every single move calculated for external validation. You are the last man! Comfortable, safe, optimized for intra-male social approval, and completely spiritually castrated. "We have invented happiness" you say, yet women yearn for Zarathustra, for the one who creates his own world. This is why every girl has a story about falling for some insane artist or musician who lived in a van. He may have been bonkers, sure, but he was ALIVE!
Wanna know why artists musicians druggies and criminals can find love and you cannot? It is not because women are stupid or that they love suffering and danger. It is because those men, despite all of their flaws, are living from their own center, and that is the single most attractive thing to many women that a man can do. They see the -potential- in them, where those who are successful on paper yet have no -potential- lack. One would be able to survive apocalypse, the women thinks, the other would not. Those men's destructive lifestyles are authentic, your safe lifestyle is performative. Tristian and Isolde did not fall in love because Tristian was a good provider or that he was tall and handsome, though he very well may have been, they drank a love potion, but what was the potion really to us? The dissolution of social identity. They were no longer knight and queen, just raw meeting raw. That is what women want, not the social role you are playing, but what happens when all those roles dissolve. Tristian chose love and death over a safe life. That choice echoes in the blood of every woman.
A jobless philosopher who genuinely does not give a fuck about money is infinitely more attractive than an insecure beta banker who hates his life but likes his stupid BMW. The philosopher owns his reality, the banker is owned by it. Diogenes lived in a clay pot and told Alexander the Great to go fuck himself, and yet Alexander himself said "If I were not I, I would want to be Diogenes". Women understand the difference between authentic power over performed power.
Women are not attracted to what you have, they're attracted to why you have it. They can smell the difference between:
money earned from passion vs money earned from fear
muscles built from joy vs muscles built from insecurity
kindness from love vs kindness from manipulation
intelligence deployed freely vs intelligence performed for approval
Every woman has PhD in reading the gap between who you are and who you are pretending to be. The only person you are fooling is yourself. This is evolutionary, for millions of years picking the wrong mate meant death, not only for her, but her offspring as well. Women have been equipped with exquisite detection for the difference between real strength and performed strength, real resources and borrowed ones, real protection and fake bravado. Their ancestors who could not tell the difference aren't anyone's ancestors because they never reproduced. The ones left are survivors who can smell authenticity like sharks smell blood.
"She's trying to change me" No you fucking moron, she sees your potential and she loves you. When you're just hunting, women love your chaos. When they love you, they want you alive and healthy, you've already passed the mate fitness ritual, you're in, for now. Men who cannot handle this are simply telling on themselves, they only process relationships as zero sum power struggles because they've never experienced real love and care. Read the fucking Iliad. When Achilles loses Patroclus he crashes the fuck out. Sobbing screaming refusing to eat. The greatest warrior who ever lived we are told this. Yet this reveals something inherently true, real strength includes the capacity for authentic and radical vulnerability. You can only be wrecked by loss if you were grounded in the first place. Modern men are so defended against pain that they've become defended against love.
Women want to know you could be a thing. Could. Not that you are one, not even that you are trying to be one. Just that the potential exists, latent, in your being. That if the world needed it, if -she- needed it, you could rise. Why do women still love Genghis Khan 800 years later? Read his biography. Orphaned, enslaved, betrayed, left for dead. He had every right to be the world's ultimate doomer, your life is not even a fraction as terrible as his was. He said fuck karma and rewrote history. He did not start trying to conquer the world though, his conquest began with his conquest of surviving on his own terms, his conquest was merely what happens when someone with infinite will meets infinite opposition. Women smell that potential in you, and its absence.
You must have what in Buddhism is called the 'beginner's mind', a mind with no preconceptions. Every women is unconsciously asking "If civilization collapsed could this man create his own place or would he just die?" This hypothetical reveals who is running on their own power versus those who have simply plugged themselves into the social matrix. It is not possible to fake potential, you cannot perform it. It either exists because you've maintained your inner light, or it doesn't because you try so hard to be what others want you to be.
Stop asking "what do women want". Ask yourself, "what do I want". And I mean really, really want. Not what you think you should want, not what you are programmed to want, not what would impress your parents, strangers on the internet, or your friends. What do YOU want? Most of you have truly no fucking clue. You're attracted to women who look like instragram or tiktok girls because that is what you are supposed to want, you're pursuing careers that make you want to kill yourself because that is just how life is. You are performing a veneer of confidence because that is how people online said it works. Sartre called this nonsense "bad faith" pretending that you have no choice either which way to avoid the even more terrifying responsibility of freedom. Every "I have to" or "I must" is a lie you tell to yourself. You could choose to be homeless tomorrow, pursue your passion, but you do not, our of fear, which is fine, but stop pretending like it is not a choice, it is a choice, one that you are actively making every single day. Women sense bad faith like animals may sense earthquakes, both relate to fundamental structural instability.
Be real or die. Not real like "bro I'm just being honest" when you're being a dick. Real like aligned, grounded, centered, integrated. Real like your outside matches your inside and your actions reveals your desires. In the past they used to say that when a man's wordhoard was misaligned from his deedhoard that they would lose their wyrd, and with that, their luck. Most men's words and deeds are completely disconnected to the point where the majority of men may have a stronger case of DID than most people online saying they have it. You say you want adventure but choose security, you say you value freedom but build cages to live in. This disconnect is what makes you invisible to others, you're not whole and thus cannot be seen. Your careful externally maintained sanity is likely the most insane thing about you.
Let me be clear, we've been talking about 'what women want' but this is not about women, this is about being a fucking human being, about being alive. This is about YOU. The women part is just what naturally happens when you decide to stop being a ghost and step into being a human.
Respectfully I used to be this way and then realized I was missing an entire register of human experience because I had underdeveloped social intelligence. Even Jane Austen understood how seemingly trivial small talk was actually a window into the moral world
Depending on how the elections go, it’s conceivable that if you live in San Francisco, next year you could be represented by a mayor, a congressman and a governor who purchased their seat.
Mitt Romney to Harvard Business School graduates: "There's more to a country than its economy. To be a great nation, it must also be a good nation. The world needs good men. It needs good women. Good leaders. Good parents raising good children. There is no national success that could compensate for failure to be a good and noble people."
i lay down everything at the feet of Christ. i fully surrender to the will of God. i will stop worrying about what's next. i will do whatever is in front of me and focus on the life God has given me.
in addition to today being nora ephron’s birthday - it’s also 30 years of her singular commencement speech at wellesley - a text i return to time and time again
What’s presented here is an ancient dilemma caused by viewing morality through the pagan religious lens. All religions (except one) ask “what gift can your god bestow upon me? I will be most pious to that god that gives me the best deal”. The view of mortality is: doing that which reaps the best personal material reward. Christianity is different because it’s not about material reward but rather objective truths and in particular objective moral truth. You don’t do what is right because it offers the better deal materially, but rather because it is right. Rightness and goodness are ends in themselves. Just like beauty. A lot of people hate seeing someone not getting their “just desserts” materially, temporally…why the heck for example is someone like Kim Kardashian wildly wealthy and successful? However in these instances is when we must remind ourselves that we do what is right for its own sake, not for some reward. Goodness is an end unto itself.
BREAKING: Nancy Pelosi endorses SF Supervisor Connie Chan to succeed her in Congress, saying Chan "stands above" all the other candidates.
The Speaker Emerita’s backing is one of the most coveted in San Francisco politics. Pelosi has held the seat for nearly 40 years.
I hope all the tech bros are listening even the ones in the back.
The thing with lawyers was that drafting a document was never the job. Doing research was never the job.
Each was a task.
A task isn’t a job. The purpose of the lawyer’s job is to solve legal problems for the client and provide the comfort and accountability around and as part of these solutions. That’s what people need from lawyers.
The fact that lawyers can now do the drafting, analysis, or researching faster or better with AI just made lawyers more needed and more valuable. If legal AI is used in the right way, imagine the scale that will be given to lawyers to solve more and more complex legal problems for clients. Their purpose and the need for their services will compound.
As the world gets more complex, society needs more lawyers to help people and businesses with their legal problems. The solution isn’t for clients to solve them on their own with AI slop because they will suffer harm, loss, and make the wrong decisions based on inaccurate, inexperienced, and wrong information, documents, analysis, and advice.
I’ve said this before. Tech bros love to predict the end of jobs that they don’t understand because it fits their agenda not the reality based on real, deep understanding of the job or clients’ needs. That’s just stupid and irresponsible. But that’s life.
With legal AI being used correctly, effectively, and responsibly by lawyers, we will see more lawyers being able to solve more and more complex legal problems for people and businesses at scale.
Lawyer are just being given new superhuman powers. Lawyers and legal services are just getting started.
The conversation about whether a woman should have kids is so focused on the bawling babies, it’s like we’ve forgotten they can grow up to be wonderful adults, writes Larissa Phillips. https://t.co/oBmK4TM97B