Evan Gascho

Tried more than 10 different types of cereal before my 8th birthday. Olympic speed skater/world record holder.

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

I prefer my kale with a silent k

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Don’t bite the horse that feeds you

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Walked in through the exit, still made an entrance

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Pros and cons of spitting out window at high rate of speed

Pros: Fresh air
Cons: Glasses fly off and you drive rest of the way home blind

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Lol @Lions

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Is breast milk vegan?

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Hurtful words can suck our turds

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

The best part about March has been taken away from us 💔

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

@trent13k @Eminem Respect level for Alexis just went to an all time low

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

@JoeyAymen @PlayStation You’d feel pretty silly

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Most children born with a silver spoon in their mouth end up tearing their mother’s uterus

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

You can lead a donkey to water, but you can’t make it a horse.

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

@Bradypost Yes and I wouldn’t recommend it to a friend

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Today I tried turkey bacon and I feel both lied to and betrayed

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

@Bradypost It was like they decided to thinly slice cardboard and call it turkey bacon

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Just for once in my life I would like to order some nachos with proper cheese distribution

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

@JoeyAymen Precisely

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Close only counts in horsegrenades

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

Desperate times call for desperate measuring

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

English muffin shops are just muffin shops in England

[Evan Gascho @evangascho]

@evan_kosinski @zachpionk @DrDuggan @JoeyAymen We like to call ourselves the Eskimo brothers