evam lane

Extreme dedication to a mediocre-at-best joke

[evam lane @evantoodle]

If you say you’re seeing the Mets, it either means you’re seeing baseball or both the opera and an art museum

[evam lane @evantoodle]

@bertmuthalaly I originally wrote “improvised music” and specifically thought, wow, I think all kinds of improv work so I changed it!

[evam lane @evantoodle]

Surreal going to a grocery store on its first day open. Everyone in the store is just looking around not buying anything

[evam lane @evantoodle]

@itsrainingmani New year, new 21 game

[evam lane @evantoodle]

If you see anemone, say anemone

[evam lane @evantoodle]

If you learn a new word it’s embarrassing if it’s an adjective. But not if it’s a noun

[evam lane @evantoodle]

The love of my life Naruto runs on airport walkways

[evam lane @evantoodle]

I can't believe they ruined Times Square with so many ads

[evam lane @evantoodle]

“Dominos pizza profile” sounds a lot more scary than it is

[evam lane @evantoodle]

@TheTrautinator It’s like he’s not even weird anymore!

[evam lane @evantoodle]

If it was in Brooklyn then the $15 would be a sliding scale

[evam lane @evantoodle]

If I ever opened a venue in nyc I would wait for people to pay the entry fee then make them sign a legally binding document saying they will purchase at least $15 of drinks

[evam lane @evantoodle]

@alexnpress I love these kinds of questionable taste shirts. Found this one in a Tampa thrift store once

[evam lane @evantoodle]

(The Grilled Cheese burrito which I eternally dislike for replacing the Quesorito)

[evam lane @evantoodle]

We can all agree Taco Bell’s menu thinks outside the bun, but the Grilled Cheese burrito menu item is even thinking outside the tortilla

[evam lane @evantoodle]

In an alternate universe Taco Bell re-invented the tostada instead of inventing the Crunchwrap supreme and collapsed as a business when they marketed it as “good to go”

[Æthelred the UnPreddy @ready4preddy]

ordering doordash without extenuating circumstances is a moral failing imo lol

[bert @bertmuthalaly]

durian separates the player characters from the NPCs

[evam lane @evantoodle]

A million got such good branding. One hundred thousand is jealous