SheriBeattie

World champion of shoe shopping. Master of sass. Avoider of laundry, dishes, & group texts that give me work to do. Mom. Wife to a guy with better hair than me.

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@AKRStevens1226 @Eugene_Scott @kmelkhat Exactly! I’m currently calculating how long it will take me to travel there from Michigan!

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@GregBurke85 @torriangray So. Much. Better.

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@JudyB1313 @kachirilady @Sistah_Space @ManduReid @SuzanneEJacob It is offensive to touch people without permission. Full stop. I hated it when people touched me when I was pregnant. I hate it when people touch my curly hair. I hate it when people pat my head because I’m short. It shouldn’t be too much to remember not to touch others 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@humanworkplace Sounds great!

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@Lesdoggg I would listen to you like it was my JOB! When does it drop?

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Let's just sit with this for a moment and what it means.

Tomorrow, Kamala Devi Harris will be the first woman sworn in as vice president of the United States.

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@WhismanSucks Yes. I was there.

Well, not there, there, because that would have been weird.

But there, at the show, at the Fox. We traveled from Flint to Chicago to see you last year. We had tickets this year. Can’t wait for next year! Be safe!

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

I made the mistake of getting into an online discussion & some Boomer called me a “bleeding heart liberal.”

Bold of you to assume that:
- I have a heart
- it bleeds anything other than Diet Coke

Carry on, my dude.

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@sarahhisfunny What is this “decorating” thing you speak of? This was us last year on Dec 10. The tree was up(right) & the ornaments were in the bag, but technically, on the tree. Am I doing it right?

[Tracy Gies @trackallan]

@ziwe Corona's the visiting team. Racism is on its home field.

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@samaracello ...so awesome. I’ve watched it about 15x. Thank you!

[Samara Ginsberg @samaracello]

It was only a matter of time before I did one of these #sorrynotsorry

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@WhismanSucks Exactly 3 levels above yelling “get off my lawn” at neighborhood kids. 2 levels above comparing car insurance rates at parties. Only 1 level above asking the lights to be turned up in Hollister while shopping with the spawn.

Just so you know. 👍🏻

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@AllysonSovis I love this tweet so much

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

💔💔

[Harlan Coben @HarlanCoben]

This photo was taken by an ER nurse in Morristown, NJ and I just can’t.

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

Sing along now...

[Lawrence Police @LawrenceKS_PD]

🎶 if you’re essential and you know it wash your hands 🎵
👏👏
🎶if you’re quarantined and you know it wash your hands🎵
👏👏
🎶if you’re gonna break the law and require a police arrest then we really do wish you’d wash your hands🎵
👏👏

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

I want to be the person Amazon thinks I am when it sends me recommendations for things it “thinks I will like.” 🤔🤔

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

Thanks for an awesome Chicago show last night. Totally worth the 4.5 hour drive!! @Jimmypisfunny @WhismanSucks

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

I think I only look taller because my hair is slightly poofier? Still, short chicks rock! Great meeting you last night, @sarahhisfunny

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@AllysonSovis It was an important blank letter. Momentous, even.

[SheriBeattie @everdelightful]

@AllysonSovis There is. It’s called “your mom 🙄”