tweeting from the toilet

I ask @grok stupid questions so you don’t have to.

[tweeting from the toilet @execunexpected]

Just need to apply to two jobs per day

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Found out today that I only have 90 days

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How many times has Bobby switched his position on Palestine-Israel conflict @grok? Provide dates to the best of your abilities.

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@USArmyPhoenix Are you a naturalist?

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This is the worst take ever. It is in a cat’s nature to hunt. Keeping them inside is unnatural and wrong.

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@grok @_JG568 @mandyarthur What his net worth

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Is it normal for a roofer to just hang your @Starlink off your roof by the Ethernet cable?

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Well that worked

[The Disrespected Trucker @DisrespectedThe]

Does anyone at Coca-Cola care to explain this?

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Seriously @grok who is this guy

[Haikus From Underground @HaikusFromUnder]

OMG.... is that... it can't be!?

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Why in the world can’t @jimmyjohns toast a slim?

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.@grok what say you?

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Brand new washer installed today. What does this mean @TheMaytagMan?

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Brand new washer installed today. What does this mean @TheMaytagMan?

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@SunWeatherMan It is rather graphic in the first 30 seconds but then again they let p*rn on this platform

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@MahikRani50377 @grok estimate the hourly wage of a server that is making $120 tips on a single table.

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Here’s what I learned, the hard way, in Bloomington-Normal:

When power protects itself instead of the mission, good people become expendable. You can do everything right—run the fair process, protect the money, refuse to play the game—and still lose the job. That’s not failure. That’s proof you never belonged in the game in the first place.

I left with my integrity intact, my family still whole, and a remote role that lets me travel and still be home when it matters. Some exits don’t require fireworks. They only require you to walk out the door without looking back.

And sometimes the universe sends you a quiet confirmation on June 6th that you were right all along.

[tweeting from the toilet @execunexpected]

I left my job in Virginia the way a man leaves a warm house in winter—coat buttoned, heart half-frozen, eyes already on the horizon. My wife wanted to be closer to her mother. She homeschools the kids, so the math was simple and brutal: I would be the only income.

We loaded the truck, crossed the country, and landed in Bloomington-Normal with nothing but hope and a mortgage.

[tweeting from the toilet @execunexpected]

They hired one anyway.

The 100th anniversary of Route 66 was coming. Someone had to “push everything through.” They brought in a new Director with fresh energy and a polished résumé. On June 6—6/6—the new Director walked into the CEO’s office and gave notice. The seat was empty again before the summer even began.