CWebb

Hell if I know. Earper. Scooby. Nerd. She/Her.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Absolutely still high from this moment!!! ... I mean, it could also be the pain meds but we’ll just ignore that fact...

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

@expertsmartass

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Heartbreak is waiting all year to treat yourself to #CaliforniaPizzaKitchen on your bday only to realize they discontinued their key lime pie! 😫

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Oh, @dominos, you know better. #tonedeaf

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Am I just imagining Tom Brady with a lisp? Is that new? Not judging… just…never noticed it before?

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

For all that is good, bench CJ Stroud!

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

⏱️😒

[Verizon News @VerizonNews]

We are aware of an issue impacting wireless voice and data services for some customers. Our engineers are engaged and are working to identify and solve the issue quickly. We understand how important reliable connectivity is and apologize for the inconvenience.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Justin Jefferson had been the absolute worst flop in my fantasy leagues in a very long time.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

As we hit the holiday and cold season, I would like to once again announce my hostility towards Kleenex for discontinuing the Cool Touch tissues.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

I will NEVER forgive @Kleenex for discontinuing Cool Touch/Cooling Lotion tissues. NEVER.

How you doin @Puffs? 😉

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

My flight from #AmericanAir is supposed to take off in 1 minute.

Have we boarded? No.

Weather? Nope!

Mechanical issues? Negative.

Staffing? also nope.

Reason: The @&:$# airline oversold 7 seats and can’t get people to switch.

This airline is so trash. I’m over it.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Girl, WHAT?!

You’re lucky if the police don’t charge you with assault!

[Collin Rugg @CollinRugg]

NEW: The high school runner who is accused of attacking another runner in the head with a baton, says it was an accident and wants people to think about her feelings.

Alaila Everett says the video is just one big misunderstanding.

The incident happened in the middle of a relay at the VSHL Class 3 State Indoor Championships.

The runner who was hit, Kaelen Tucker, says she suffered a concussion and a potential skull fracture.

"When we got to the curve she kept bumping me in my arm and when we got off the curve I finally passed her and that was when she hit me with the baton," Tucker said.

Everett claims the camera angle made the strike look intentional but she claims her baton just got stuck.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

I have a new “it could be worse” comparison to cheer me up when life gets shitty:

I could be Nico Harrison.

Yeah, that one should stick for awhile. 😂

#mavericks

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Absolutely never going to forgive @Maybelline for discontinuing my shades of the dream radiant liquid foundation. It took me FOREVER to get something that worked.

Time to brand swap. Again.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Nah, fam.

Travis is a beast who’s awesome at two positions. Ohanti is ELITE at his.

Does Travis have to endure more physically? Yes. Does that equalize current skill/talent level? Absolutely not.

[The Athletic @TheAthletic]

Do you agree with Travis Hunter that being a two-way player in football is more difficult than Shohei Ohtani's two-way prowess in baseball?

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

I KNEW Kate McKinnon would break them! 😂

Bringing Meryl in=brilliant!

#SNL50

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

If James cheats on Nyla, this whole season gets an automatic dismissal in my book.

#TheRookie

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

People who say “Good Afternoon” at 12:01 PM need to slow the fuck down.

#wednesdayfeelings

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

Damnnnn the Chiefs getting tossed around like rag dolls!

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

I’m not feeling these AI commercials at ALL. #SuperBowlLIX

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

I love Jackie Chan but The Forbidden Kingdom has to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life.

[CWebb @expertsmartass]

When does the new season of @BritishBakeOff air? Anxious American minds want to know…