Ian Levy

Please love and validate me.

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

I can't find anyone to cuddle with me so I've been making my seatbelt a bit too tight. It's pretty much the same.

[Mohammed Zubair @zoo_bear]

‘No No No, Not you... You are one of the good guys Piers’ : Bassem Youssef to Piers Morgan

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

I'm going to start a site called Onlyfan that gives my mom updates on my career

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

@pattonoswalt there's a comic shop in San Francisco you used to go to. Amazing Fantasy on 8th and Irving. It's one of the last great independently owned comic shops in SF. It's been hurting and I was wondering if you'd be willing to post on here and tell people to go buy a comic?

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

As a full time nanny I don't get healthcare but I do occasionally get gushers so it's about the same

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

An actual review I got from a woman after a date "you're like human xanax"

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

I've never seen worse fair-weather fans than Republican senators

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

I don't mind that my cat watches me during sex

I just wish it would stop filming

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

I'm looking for my ride AND die because I'm not a good driver

[Hannah Berner @beingbernz]

I’m like a croissant. I’m sweet but will flake on you.

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

Went to a gun store that had a NO MASK policy.

They wouldn't even let me wear my mask when I said it was for self defence.

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

@hudlion Daddy issues

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

Got a job as a census taker. I haven't felt this much rejection since I was on Tinder.

[i can be your long lost pal @PallaviGunalan]

men in comedy lining up to be outed

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

The Washington Redskins are officially changing there name to "Woman are Liars"

[Hanna Dickinson @hansdickie]

I found out my 30 y.o brother bakes one cookie a night which is a level of sadness I have yet to unlock

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

America's Got Tallent is judged by a Canadian, German, and two British people...why isn't Fox News talking about this?

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

"Flava Flav was a hero to most but he never meant shit to me" ~ Burnie Sanders

#FeelTheBern #PublicEnemy

[Elizabeth Warren @ewarren]

It’s a shame Mike Bloomberg can buy his way into the debate. But at least now primary voters curious about how each candidate will take on Donald Trump can get a live demonstration of how we each take on an egomaniac billionaire.

[Ian Levy @eyelevy]

I live in San Francisco, the wealthiest city in America.

Today I stepped in human shit.