F__kf__e

Just an a-hole

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@TrolverC @snemeisyaj for a club (foot) sandwich?

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"Hey you fag, cut your damn hair!"

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Hey that chick has a nice ass- OHGODTHATSAGUYWITHLONGHAIR!!!!

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@TrolverC @1981_dave I'd believe you ate a HalBert. It's Haley's cunt with a man named Robert's cock in there.

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FrIday Saturday Sunday really fucks up your shit.

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This is feeling like a "snap one out in the can at work" kinda day.

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What is it about old people's cooking that is so gross?

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Got a vasectomy scheduled. Not too much stopping me from cheating on my wife now. Except, you know, a girl.

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Anyone have a wire brush? I can't get rid of this itch - in my rectum.

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Not too much worse than shivering in the middle of a piss. Oh well, that's why we have wives.

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Watching the Grey Cup with my mother-in-law and wife. At least it's not quiet. >--|o___ <-- me with blown out brains.

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More of a vagina man myself "@MensHumor: Are you an ass man or a tit man? ...or a both man?!?!"

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I hope my wife never finds my towel under the bed, or as I call it - "Old Crunchy".

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I didn't know beer goggles worked on your own reflection. Damn I'm hot!

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Why does my wife feel like she needs to talk ALL FUCKING GAME?

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Don't ever let anyone tell you you can fit an entire piss in one beer bottle. #lessonlearned

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When I was younger I had to think of sad shit so I wouldn't cum too soon. Now I can't get off without thinking about dead puppies.

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#bigbrother fuck off with Rachel already. Nobody wants to watch her cry.