Fallon Foers

I’m a fucking mess, but at least I don’t litter

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

I say/do a lot of dumb shit, but at least I would vaccinate my child

[Robson Fletcher @CBCFletch]

Here are the latest COVID-19 data for Alberta:

• 1,119 cases detected yesterday
• 13,349 active cases
• 348 in hospital incl. 66 in ICU
• 16 new deaths reported. 492 total

Data context: https://t.co/3dbTqmIhqU

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

I think the biggest shock after all of this, will be having to put on a real bra

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

If you’re not going to take social distancing seriously, at least don’t be dumb enough to post it all over social media.

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

Literally the first week Coronavirus came out, I thought it was a joke because people were putting up snaps of them chugging coronas. That was a much easier time.

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

Can Canada get US @netflix pls

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

I didn’t think it was possible to hate so many people at once

[CBS News @CBSNews]

“If I get corona, I get corona. At the end of the day, I'm not gonna let it stop me from partying”: Spring breakers are still flocking to Miami, despite coronavirus warnings. https://t.co/KoYKI8zNDH

[Lizzie McGuire @ImLizzieM]

Coronavirus is the worst thing to hit Italy since Paolo's singing voice

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

@christineBIGred Me too

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

@alexismyroon Oh yes been there, now I always have to check if I’m doing that 😂

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

Driving in the city, you’re either stuck behind a bus or the buddy turning left

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

I’ve literally gotten ruthless with people that put no effort into friendships. You get one chance and I’m out. Sorry don’t have time to waste

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

If you see a lane ends and you wait till the very last second to get into another lane, you’re a piece of shit. But if I let you in and you don’t fucking wave, well my god. There is a special place in hell for people like you. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

I’m angered that American horror story isn’t on Canadian Netflix

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

@AcaciaToronchuk 🙈🙈 Jesus girl Hahahha, allergic to something!! Or maybe a bite

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

@AcaciaToronchuk 😳 the heck happened

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

This weather is turning my seasonal depression into full time depression, and honestly that’s just depressing af

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

Wow what a coincidence, Greece wants to pay me to go there!!! Feet pics no longer for sale

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

Anyone wanna buy pics of my feet? I wanna go to Greece

[Fallon Foers @faallonfoeers]

@keystothebenzz @AcaciaBrinley NAAAIIILLLEED ITTTT!!!