girl steve

there's a 90% chance if i'm smiling and nodding along in conversation i'm just screaming in my skull.music. horror. books. social awkwardness

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@Tesco surely there's an easier way to clean your tomatoes???

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

My mam got me two of these for my birthday this year. It took me a full day to see the spelling mistake and I love them more for it.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@Skoog Oh no I read optimist as orgasm at a glance my brain has betrayed me, I just saw the o at the start and m at the end I need to stop being online half asleep.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

Had an x-ray on my back today and had a chat with the technician. I was shocked that the most bizarre thing she's seen inside someone was a barbie. I was expecting much worse.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@Camel_Crushin So you're just gonna kid yourself...😎

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

Still have "bundt cake" as the worst words for a spoonerism. Trying to think of any worse.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

Graceful, graceful, graceful, bring me solo and the wookie.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

What even is this? #caterpillar #moth #butterfly

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@savebutterflies Off topic but I was wondering if you could help me identify this caterpillar. Sadly deceased but i found it yesterday and have never seen one like it.

[@mrlovenstein.bsky.social @MrLovenstein]

so many

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

Oh yeah happy new year I'll be over here trying to calm down two cats that think it's the apocalypse but you enjoy your fireworks for a half hour straight

[Joe Tracini @joetracini]

I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
He lives in my head and it’s difficult to explain the symptoms, so I got him out to show you xx

[BladeoftheSun @BladeoftheS]

Conservative MP Mel Stride claims PIP benefit is thousands of pounds per month.

No it is an absolute maximum of £720 a month, and most people only get about £250.

Meanwhile he claims £1,250 a WEEK in rent on his expenses

Lying, thieving b******

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@TheCinesthetic

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@Bob_Janke @fightgeek But rhe demolition crew has to complete the job in 30 minutes or less, or they work for free.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@RoyalOperaHouse As a youngun I was taken to see this. At intermission we got ice creams. I dropped mine two rows down into someone's hood and felt so bad I cried so much I'd no tears left for the ending and was just dry sobbing.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

https://t.co/K8kprlAi8j. :(

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@ChefRonSullivan I never pair my socks. Just all socks in a drawer and grab two at random. As long as they're similar textures it's all good.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

Has anyone mad a Gom Jabbar epipen yet? If I come into contact with hair dye and shit goes south that's what I want.

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@carpenterisgod x doesn't stand for a kiss, it's just missing "files".

[girl steve @failuretoraunch]

@fesshole Was at A&E with a dislocated knee issue years ago. Guy about my age, in his twenties, was in for same thing. His mum said "go on.tell her how you did it" and he looked sheepish and said "I was running away from a moth"