**

/ as long as they find purpose in my words i don't care if they won't remember that it was me who spoke them /

[** @fairecommesi]

I am worthless. Worthless.

[** @fairecommesi]

That I suffered like a bitch as a kid, that I never understood why it was me they picked on, that they burned me out.

[** @fairecommesi]

Do you really think I fucking CHOSE to become sick? DO YOU THINK I DECIDED TO GET FUCKING BULLIED, DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ME, EVER?

[** @fairecommesi]

People are so fucking cruel.

[** @fairecommesi]

Nothing more than the crazy psycho I am. Nothing more have I ever been to you. Ever meant to you. The sick girl. The fat girl.

[** @fairecommesi]

I love him so fucking much and he, he just stopped.

[** @fairecommesi]

And if my boyfriend reads this he's gonna be mad because I didn't text him. I'm sorry baby, I'm a fucking mess and you don't deserve that.

[** @fairecommesi]

I don't have the strength anymore.

[** @fairecommesi]

I keep hearing what I do wrong from everyone, my parents, my boyfriend, my own mind. I WANT IT TO STOP. I WANT TO BE NORMAL. PLEASE.

[** @fairecommesi]

I feel so alone. I feel so, so alone.

[** @fairecommesi]

It's not gonna work. Nothing changes, my eating disorder is still active and going, I keep panicking, it's been too much

[** @fairecommesi]

I think I want to go to rehab

[** @fairecommesi]

Im such a god damned wreck

[** @fairecommesi]

And my boyfriend is out with that other girl and is probably having loads of fun, can I die?

[** @fairecommesi]

And my mum cancelled her trip because of me

[** @fairecommesi]

I'm that traumtized that I panic so fucking much I had a panic attack at my therapist and it was horrible

[** @fairecommesi]

I'm kind of developing a panic disorder which was caused by a bad trip I had from marijuhana

[** @fairecommesi]

Mum actually just said this to me "It's been that way since 5 years and now you did sth that stupid to get panic attacks, I cant take it"

[** @fairecommesi]

I'm such a burden to everyone

[** @fairecommesi]

I am not the person to be sufficient for people.