June Griffin

Veteran of the Culture Wars, Militia Woman, Used Furniture Sales, Parody Account

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR UNLESS ITS BARBRA, WHO DEFINITELY HAD IT COMING

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

MY FUCKED UP PENTECOSTAL CHURCH LOVES SPEAKING IN TONGUES BUT DOES NOT HABLA ESPANOL

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A HAIR DRYER, MARSHA, YOU DUMB WHORE

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

MY TAKE ON YOUR AMERICAN FLAG BIKINI:
1. LOVE THE PATRIOTISM
2. YOU STILL LOOK LIKE THE REDNECK WHORE THAT YOU ARE

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

DUDE AT THE FLEA MARKET IS SELLING A REBEL FLAG THAT FEATURES A RAINBOW PRIDE BACKGROUND AND NOW MY BRAIN IS BROKEN

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

GOD TOLD ME TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR SUNDRESS MAKES YOU LOOK SKANKY

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

IF YOU DON'T SPEND THIS WHOLE WEEKEND WITH A BUDWEISER IN ONE HAND AND A BIBLE IN THE OTHER ARE YOU EVEN AMERICAN?

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH

ACTUALLY JUST GIVE ME A FUCKING ICE CREAM CONE CUZ ITS HOT AS SHIT OUT TODAY

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

SORRY CAN'T

TOO BUSY WHAT WITH WORLD WAR 3 AND CIVIL WAR 2 AND ALL

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THESE LONG GRAY HAIRS GROWING OUT OF MY CHIN?
1. PLUCK
2. BLEACH
3. TELL MR. GRIFFIN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

PICTURE THIS: ME ON A PARADE FLOAT PELTING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALK WITH TOOTSIE ROLLS. THIS WAS MY AFTERNOON AT THE STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL.

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR UNLESS ITS BARBRA, WHO DEFINITELY HAD IT COMING

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

@TracyDrummond IF YOU GET BITE HANDLING SNAKES IN MY CHURCH IT'S CUZ YOU'RE A SINFUL SLUT.

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

HEY ALL YOU BITCHES WHO LAUGHED AT MY DOOMSDAY BUNKER, LOOKS LIKE I'M ABOUT TO HAVE THE LAST LAUGH WHEN THESE SHITHEADS START WITH THE NUKES

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

IT'S BEEN A WHILE SO YOU KNOW I'M READY TO GO FULL ON PENTACOSTAL ON SOMEONE'S ASS

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

PICTURE THIS: ME ON A PARADE FLOAT PELTING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALK WITH TOOTSIE ROLLS. THIS WAS MY AFTERNOON AT THE STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL.

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

@2Mon_Amie Good to be back. Missed you.

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

AND ON THE THIRD DAY I ROSE AGAIN I'M BACK TWITTER FAM AND IM PISSED WHO THE FUCK DOUBLED THE CHARACTER COUNT FOR TWEETS

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THESE LONG GRAY HAIRS GROWING OUT OF MY CHIN?
1. PLUCK
2. BLEACH
3. TELL MR. GRIFFIN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE A FAN, @Powell_DA

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

*beats you senseless with the Bible belt*

*sees no change*

I NEED A NEW BELT

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

LET'S ALL JUST ADMIT IT JAMES COMEY IS HOT AS HELL AND HIS AUDIOBOOK​ IS BASICALLY LIKE CALLING A 900 NUMBER

[June Griffin @fakeJuneGriffin]

THESE DUMBASS CANDIDATES PUT THE GOOBER IN GUBERNATORIAL GOOD LORD HAVE MERCY