THE Fake UMC Bishop

The original fake UMC account and the only real fake bishop from the United Methodist Church on twitter.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

The wineskin of the UMC is rotten and full of holes. It’s time to develop some new wineskins and see what the Lord blesses with a fresh move of the Holy Spirit.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

“And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins.”
Luke 5:37-38

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

One of the gifts of GC2019 is that it revealed what many centrists truly believe about traditionalists. #umc

[Lyman Stone 石來民 🦬🦬🦬 @lymanstoneky]

So there have been a lot of takes on the UMC #gc2019 votes on LGBT issues.

But the take with the most relevance to non-Methodists is one I haven't seen anybody make. So here goes.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

Can we please have the parliamentarian give us a suggestion on how to finish by 6:30? #GCUMC

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

I miss Joe Harris. #GCUMC

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

@lathempostell @ShaneRaynor @RitterChris @whstikes This makes sense with the normal GC structure. It hardly makes sense when the plenary session is the exact same as the legislative committee.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

The One Church Plan: where everyone can live together, both us righteous, light to the world liberals and you ignorant, holiness obsessed traditionalists. #GCUMC

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

Comparing UMC traditionalists to the hateful protestors across the street is an absolute cheap shot that demonstrates why traditionalists won’t be welcome in the one church plan. #GCUMC

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

If “clever,” rhyming, preachy liturgy is your thing, you’d love General Conference worship. #GCUMC

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

@mariadixon @UMNS The bishops structured the whole thing exactly how they wanted to protect their own position and power. Of course they didn’t invite qualified academics, historians, or people w/o a vested interest in general agencies and structures.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

No one will accuse us of rushing through things if the current pace continues. Of course, they won’t accuse us of accomplishing much either. #GCUMC

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

That was a rousing 1/12th of the conference with a standing ovation for that message. #GCUMC

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

Whoever is running that @MainstreamUMC fake account is HILARIOUS.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

For the life of me, I can’t figure out how nondenominational churches flourish without our stellar episcopal leadership.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

Everybody else feeling light and peaceful in the week leading up to St. Louis?

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

Far too many United Methodists want a polite gang for a church, with Jesus as a mascot, instead of the Spirit-filled body of Christ shaking the very gates of hell, with a commitment to faith and holiness.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

Happy “overthink and dissect everything about the Sunday worship service day” everyone!

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

@revbt No.

[THE Fake UMC Bishop @fakeUMCbishop]

It is no surprise that in a denomination without any agreement on the authority of scripture there is no consensus on accountability. “In those days there was no king in Israel; all the people did what was right in their own eyes.” Judges 21:25 NRSV