Andre Batista

Professional Eggo® eater

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

The best argument against universal basic income is that even more people will start doing stand up

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@Criterion Floating Weeds @giulia321

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@TSNHelp All the matches should be on TSN+, there's an expectation that, when someone watches the first week and a half of an ongoing event, that they'll be able to watch the end of that ongoing event. Hopefully that's the case for the final three days.

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@TSNHelp As I said, really scummy. I've been watching the men's and women's singles matches all week and now, when we get to the most important ones, gotta pay $12 extra. You can see how that's messed up, right?

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@TSNHelp Well then something has gone seriously wrong because there's no feed for the women's semifinals that's currently airing.

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@TSNHelp Yeah, that's what I just said. So that means TSN+ does not have the US Open semis. Really scummy.

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@TSNHelp @debbielou132 TSN5 isn't available with TSN+

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@chrislockeworld Also I would marry Teri Garr and not freak her out

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@chrislockeworld I always make that mountain with my mashed potatoes

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

I think white girls just like saying cherry tomato and that's the only reason they exist

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

Hi I'm Andre, I use default wallpapers on my phone

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

Mission Impossible is just Fast and the Furious for people who like to think they have good taste

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

The Leafs 100% won this series because I started eating Wheat Thins and I'll make sure to buy several more boxes as soon as possible.

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@CodyMclenon @chrislockeworld You're a married man

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

When people on Reddit are talking about their sexual escapades, I like to imagine just the ugliest fucking people I can think of and then it suddenly seems a lot more believable

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

I spent $8 for Wolf of Wall Street on YouTube about 7 years ago and, to this day, I've not pressed play on it.

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

you’ve got to fuck up so bad to not get $8 out of me. i’m stupid, i’ll spend $8 on anything

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

The Wikipedia editors who put a filmmaker's filmography on its own page instead of the filmmaker's page? I could probably kill them with my bare hands.

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

@CodyMclenon @ScrapDaddyAP It's a write-off, Jerry!

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

Man it's so weird not having a blue checkmark anymore right guys?

[Andre Batista @fakeandybatista]

There's nothing like throwing on Everybody Loves Raymond and not knowing which of the 40 intros they'll use