Blake Potter

I am me

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Imagine how hard & weird Mike Pence is frowning tonight with his fucked up microwaved apple face.

[Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy]

Nails are just your finger teeth. Next question.

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

me: i wish for good health, to be rich, and finally....for your freedom
therapist: once again i am not a genie but you being here is starting to make more sense

[Cool guy with lots of friends @Private_yum]

@sug_knight As a man, the thing I want most, from my wife, the mother of my child is for her to stop, rinsing out ziplock bags, for reuse. We’re a dual-income household, babe, we can buy more bags.

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Wolverine was named that because he was a combination of a wolf and a nectarine I will not be taking questions at this time.

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

boys always griping about how "makeup is a lie!!!" meanwhile they're out there chugging Polyjuice Potion to hide the fact they're tryin to kill Harry Potter.

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

Open it for a beautiful surprise!

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

My sister lives in the Piedmont area of NC and sent me this today

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

@elle91

[Sassparilla @Megatronic13]

I’d do laundry more often, but my closet space depends on half of my clothes being in the hamper. It’s really not up to me anymore.

[UnDo 512 @undo512]

i love the first couple of months after living in a new city when you learn where the cheap coffee is and how to get to the grocery store and that you will probably never experience true fulfillment

[three coffees and a nap guy @AynRandy]

If I were stuck in traffic I would simply honk my horn ceaselessly, thereby giving those in front of me the incentive to start moving

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

@tiny_lantern @TuckerThaTruckr @righteousbooby Oh, oops! Thanks for clearing that up. Still think we need to acknowledge that Ben and I have basically the same avatar

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

@HaleyMancini @ARTBlTCH666 Better yet, when they shave the thing they are whining about wanting others to shave. Want her to shave her arms? You first, buddy! Lol

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

@VirGiL_DD4 @ARTBlTCH666 Shave your own arms, then.

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

@Chumpstring So that’s crackers for the quacker

[Blake Potter @fakeblakepotter]

@dontlosethekids @PetrickSara The real gift was saving you from granola crumbs in your bed.