ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era}

𓊆ྀི the horrors persist but so do i 𓊇ྀི | vent/ed recov ☠︎ | 30s | poke-maniac | mdni | semi-inactive

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

၄၃Rika
★ 32
⚤Genderfluid
ᥫ᭡Lesbian/Ace spectrum
⚚ Disabled
☾ed relapse

𒈔 23+ only 𒈔

☣︎dni fatphobes/minors☣︎

ˡⁱᵏᵉˢ:
ꨄ︎pokemon
ꨄ︎piercings&tattoos
ꨄ︎pastel/goth aura
ꨄ︎gaymer
ꨄ︎energydrinks&cigs

𐂯 priv(back-up): @riot_entropy
🫶 big sibling moot 🫶

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

Welp don’t do meth guys 3 years clean and I’d always kinda had a teeth grinding / sorta always moving habit I couldn’t control and a few nights ago I woke up and had grinded both my top and bottom teeth on the right side to cracking and I have exposed nerves both sides now :)

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

My mom had been repeating over and over “you’ve been smoking more lately” “you need another carton?” Etc so I was finally like “basically my only motivation to get out of bed sometimes is to smoke so I truly appreciate everyone’s concern but deep in my soul, I do not care.”

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

I feel like I do wanna vent here more maybe there’s some stuff I wanna say I can’t on my bsky it’s more public tbh

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

However that’s been a journey of about 5 years (when I’ve suffered with an ed for abt 20) but I can say I’m 32 now and I know who I am so much better now, and I feel like I know myself. Even through extreme pain, do do accept myself more for who I really am now ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

The ed pipeline from high sw to trauma survivor to lw bmi to hard drugs to handicapped suicide survivor.

Please don’t have my story. I’m currently in extreme pain 24/7. Recover from this ed. The gaining/losing ruined my body’s look/functions and the low bmi

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

gave me heart problems. The drugs fucked with my brain and made me do so many horrible things I regret and haunt me. And I’ve tried to kms so many times in my life but this was supposed to be the full proof 100% success plan. Well, now I have severe nerve damage and can’t walk…

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

If it bothers you I’m in recov you can unfollow but I still love all of you as friends and ily you guys

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

There have been some developments.. I guess I’m semi recov now. I don’t mind too much what I actually eat cause I can’t stomach much but it does bother me when I eat a lot of cals. So idk. Also as you can tell I’m semi inactive cause of that and I just don’t have the energy +

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

To be social with the pin I’m in. If I do post it’s on bsky mostly about pokemon or a vent here and there

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

There have been some developments.. I guess I’m semi recov now. I don’t mind too much what I actually eat cause I can’t stomach much but it does bother me when I eat a lot of cals. So idk. Also as you can tell I’m semi inactive cause of that and I just don’t have the energy +

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

@Recovry_Ray Using god to cover his problems, more like it

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

Man child, 34, upset still cause his ex who accepted she’s a lesbian is still not getting back with him- especially after he sexually abused her and stole $600 from her. Tragic.

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

My psychiatrist changed my antipsychotic cause I was having really bad paranoia and I went through the worst withdrawals but it helped me sleep so now I’m not sleeping so well. Plus i can tell I’m moving my leg better, I’m just experiencing the worst pain imaginable.

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

So I just learned about Calligraffiti and when im mobile again I think I’ve found a new night owl hobby since my meds have been switched up and I may have more trouble sleeping on this new one ;)

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

I have to get out of this house man I’m a grown ass adult and my parents legit make me suicidal bc they are so selfish and just awful conservative assholes. I can’t right now though because I can’t even sit up for more than 10minutes without being in extreme pain.

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

@lycheeeats Also ok but yes don’t purge ever again. Purging is addictive and will destroy you

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

Would you guys hate me if I said I don’t think my eating is really disordered anymore.

I don’t have the energy to be devoted. I have disordered thoughts but can’t be bothered to act on them. In fact I’ve been in this game so long, when I see REALLY disordered takes +

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

@lycheeeats Who’s going to yell at you? Don’t mind what people think, fuck em. And also there are plenty of ways to get high protein with few cals. Vegans do WONDERS if you’ve ever seen some of their foods.

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

@crystalskies444 These kind of incel men are evil. Pure evil.

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

@Recovry_Ray Awww bb

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

New rule: I only follow 23+ now. If I already follow you, you may be safe if we’re close but I don’t have anything in common with younger people

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

@Recovry_Ray Yup just focus on the journey and enjoy the ride, don’t stress too much. Everything will work out :)

[ꨄ︎ ℜ𝔦ӄ𝔞 {recov era} @falling_frenzy]

Now that I’m in my 30s I feel so much more settled in spirit and like I’ve figured a bunch of stuff about myself out

So when I see 20yos having an existential crisis/confused and worried about their future or who they are I’m so sad. I was just there, but it’s so clear now