Faris

I'm a theme park ride! Rather than heights and thrills, I provide bad jokes.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@hutchinson @JacobWolf From Florida's Museum of Natural History's numbers on shark attacks, and Johns Hopkin's numbers on COVID death rate, you're more likely to die if you came down with COVID then if you're attacked by a shark. You're also a lot more likely to get COVID.

(1.8% /1.5% respectively).

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@NightValeRadio Oh no, I'm fully caught up with Welcome to Night Vale. Now I'll have to listen to some of the other Night Vale Presents Podcasts during morning walks. Love your show!

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@scalzi Or that you might have memory problems.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@scalzi I think Google's just saying you're a narcissist.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@evan_greer @danielzklein What kind of lobbyists does your kid's school have? Maybe they should work more closely with senators.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@thetomzone But they're all the same... That's not that interesting.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@Popehat Bold of you to say that Republicans consider non-Republicans people.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@dellcam The Titanic is sailing prouder than ever.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@HowellONeill Maybe it sounds more positive in Russian.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@scalzi Or start 3D printing children, and just releasing them into the wild.

Your idea is probably more humane.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@Froggen @LeagueOfLegends Divide Rakan's numbers by two, since he's only half bird, so the votes should only count half.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@danielzklein @scalzi Don't *ask*, DEMAND! It's your right to speak to life's manager.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@HowellONeill Don't you hate it when you make a non-political dystopia and it has overlap with modern day?

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@dril That's totally fine as long as your a passenger, or have a net worth above 100 million.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@HowellONeill I'm not sure if my department has a ransom ware plan in their emergency response, and we do have a volcano plan (that's actually been used, RIP Pompeii).

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@JulianCastro I assume they excluded Texas since it's the best state for BBQ, so it wasn't fair competition for the individual cities to be listed too.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@daveweigel That's just what they want you to think.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@Obscurica Were you 3D printing Rapunzel?

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@scalzi I'm going to have to insist on a recount by the Cyber Ninjas. If it's good enough for Arizona, it's good enough for the Hugos.

[Faris @Fariswheel]

@TBSkyen Could be worse, I kinda expected Twitter to introduce a Twitter cryptocurrency and only allow tips through it.