alcoholism so bad rn that im genuinely considering looking into rehab or some kind of mental facility. only thing thats deterring me is not being able to work!!
what do i do abt the mess im in right now all i want to do is self sabotage lawlll
that being said i am going away next week and i cannot WAIT to party all week and disrespect my body and dance lots and be away from home UGH im so fucking excited
i walked home from werk yesterday (1hr15mins) and ended up on 8k steps, walked around the area near my werk today and have ended up on 6.6k steps so thats better than nothin i geth!
a lot of stuff happening in my head rn. been having the worst sh urges ever, been having suicidal thoughts for the first time in a very very long time, missing being in full blown rexia, missing drugs, missing being single, missing being skinny. im SO over my LIFEEE</3
rly trying not to sh for the first time in a very long time, deffo very ed brained at the mo, extremely depressed, hating myself a lot, drinking a lot of vodka rn and ive been doing loads of exercise and clean eating which is v diff for me (i only do it when im sad)
guys icl idek what this account is anymore. im deffo not just edtwt and i havent physically sh'ed in so long this cannot be a shtwt account, deffo alctwt but everytime im depressed or having a bad time w my head/my life i float back here
so im an alcoholic, i am kinda in recovery but ive drank so much tn and idk if i see an end. i did dry january, i went on a night out to treat myself 2 days ago and ive been spiralling since. i need friends who understand.
#alctwt
YES, i DO fatshame myself.
NO, i DON'T fatshame others.
YES, i DO call my sh invalid and pathetic.
NO, i DON'T call others sh invalid and pathetic.
YES, i WILL call myself fat and ugly.
NO, i WON'T call other people fat and ugly.