faye cerniglia

[tish @tishta]

grown men stumblin around on the train. engage ur calves brother

[CoKane @KanesCabDriv3r]

“You’re drunk you can barely walk”

Yeah that’s why I’m gonna drive home retard

[cory @coolmathgame_]

doctor: do you smoke or drink

me: yes

doctor: ok

me: are u mad at me

[Lauren @decent_shittalk]

I told you not to go through his phone girl

[julia @FOAM1NG]

r u cool with me coming over and shedding half my hair all over ur floor

[alina 寧 @seapearlangel]

when i accidentally close my 47 tabs it's like the burning of the library of alexandria, but worse and much more dire

[k1!thechemist @k1urmomha]

nice argument. Unfortunately, yo momma

[faye cerniglia @fayecernig]

my favorite compliment that ive ever received was someone said to me "i wish i was as funny as ben (mutual friend) so i could hear you laugh all the time" and i wont stop thinking about it ever !!!!!!!!

[bitchcraft ☾ @mermaidbl00d]

women in STEM (shenanigans, tomfoolery, escapades, and mischief)

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

I always think my feelings are SO COMPLICATED but then Spring happens and I’m like oh no wait I’m fine

[Sophie Hall @SophLouiseHall]

But what if I want more hours of daylight AND the extra hour of sleep

[faye cerniglia @fayecernig]

me: "ugh ive literally eaten so much today"
(ive had three solid and well balanced meals)

[one of ur hoes @miliondollameat]

yea the gap in my resume is because i was banging ur mom lmao

[Shannon Gaé @theshannondae]

It’s so hard, but I’m finally learning to shut up