Federico Guevara

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

aren’t you glad that you don’t live in a time where if you got bit by a fox you’d just have to wait it out & see if you died

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

the taste of celery after sweating the entire contents of your cells’ water reserve is worth something if not the amount of suffering it takes to make it so hydrating and pleasant

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

it’s an ignoble texas day when you roll up on the juice bar, order an $8 juice called gremlin and they try to give you a paper towel for your face

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

it’s just me, my hubris and my plant powered protein shake

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

joie de imp - new perfume line coming FW18

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

me walking up the stairs screeching like a possessed mountain lion: as an audio producer it’s my job to produce audio

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

hearts should be filled with love not worms

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

just took the birkenstocks off my feet in the middle of a coffee shop and changed into the birkenstocks in my backpack. easy entry in my top 10 whitest moments reel

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

I hate innovative egg packaging

[Mahala @EmiWTX]

“As much as I talk about how being a medieval peasant would be cool, I would lose it. I would have to overthrow a pope every few years just to keep it fresh & fun.” -@federeserve

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

1. white miso, coconut aminos
2. vegetables
3. udon noodles
4. steamed eggplant
5. bonito flakes
layer as such and consume

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

humor doesn’t exist it’s recipes only from here on out https://t.co/bZR7WVF78h

[Mahala @EmiWTX]

“Nothing’s funny anymore when you put it on Twitter.” -@federeserve

[Federico Guevara @federeserve]

can u remind me of some of the funny things I’ve said