miranda

wikihow to be offensive and deeply wanted at the same time • she/they

[miranda @fera1onmain]

when i was a kid i’d watch water running along the curb and get excited when a little leaf went by. now i can’t go ten minutes without watching a tiktok.

[miranda @fera1onmain]

happy 3 year anniversary to my ex-roommate shitting on the floor while blackout and then telling me i was dramatic for wanting an apology :)

[Stephen Hopkins @phil_lol_ogist]

#MondayMotivaton

[miranda @fera1onmain]

people who like light roast coffee have some sort of demonic energy within them. what do you MEAN you want to drink hot lemonade dirt???

[Sweetie Pie @r0bbersgirl]

what a beautiful time to be alive

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@shanhedonia Some of the roommates got fucked up and when I went to the bathroom the next morning there was a human turd on the tile, quite far from the toilet? Fascinating. I cleaned it in a panic and later, no one would own up to it or apologize and pretended it was par for the course…

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

trying to be entertaining so she doesn’t take her 3pm six hour nap

[larchmont_chipotle @EmmaSpecter]

thinking about when my most gossipy friend referred to herself as a "radical transparency activist".............queen

[miranda @fera1onmain]

“girlhood”: listening to the charli boilerroom while sucking on a peach whiteclaw and devouring various trader joes grecian cuisines

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@cryingshopgirl worst person (the only one ive seen)

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@cryingshopgirl couldn’t get through it but you know I’m a hater

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@cryingshopgirl old wives would say you’ll be coming into money soon

[charlie @chunkbardey]

keeping myself sharp by regularly asking myself tough questions like “what happened yesterday” and “what was i planning on doing just now”

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@cryingshopgirl by “ride” you mean lie in bed and rot, correct?

[miranda @fera1onmain]

screaming, crying, throwing up and listening to ‘my love mine all mine’ mitski 2023

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@cryingshopgirl no @?? It’s like you dont even respect me. Am i just a piece of millennial meat to you?

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@ohheysimone YEAH

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@ohheysimone im clearly the minority, i was cutting in half and saying 25 so that’s one half each but i have been strongly overruled.

[miranda @fera1onmain]

how many ears of corn would you get for a bbq of approx 50 people 😬

[miranda @fera1onmain]

@norkdork i’m gonna get you committed