All-Human Primate

professional zookeeper. Girl Scout leader. pretty great wife and mom... life goal: do all the things 36 she/her

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

My daughter is still working on "animal people=morning people" concept

[👻 Paultergeist 🎃 @PaulisGreat2000]

Some years ago my sister-in-law and I decided to take on the task of mapping out the events that occur across Christmas Eve morning/afternoon in JINGLE ALL THE WAY.

Don’t ask me why— I can’t say for sure. All I know is we took it seriously. We took notes. We even made t-shirts🧵

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@PaulisGreat2000 A well researched dissertation years in the making

[jaime 🌈👽 @vampirerightyy]

what if our flag means death was produced in the 90s?

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@PaulisGreat2000

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

It’s national zookeeper week and this Jurassic Park meme is so outdated now but I still love it.

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@swilson797 This is my view on money. I spend it on nothing for months and then blow it on something big because I justify it to myself that I didn’t spend money for so long!

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@PaulisGreat2000 @Nea1Farre11 Mark’s beard is so tiny!

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@PaulisGreat2000 Who’s that hottie tweeting instead of texting me?

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

I cued my dog poorly and I think I broke him.

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@Nea1Farre11 I tried to recreate this feeling in my “book club” movie, it hit a little different with @PastorC_is_me fondling a banana. It’s in Bob’s Bus Tours too 😂, might be in this years movie too lol you’ll have to see.

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@PaulisGreat2000 There's an open window seat! That could have been mine!

[Bloody Disgusting @BDisgusting]

Viewer Beware: On the Page and on Screen, 'The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight' Was the Perfect Summer Scary Fun for '90s Kids, Paul Farrell (@PaulisGreat2000) Fondly Remembers https://t.co/Z9tFFnlMfR

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@ladohstry This speaks to me on a very personal level. We need English dressage Stede and western rodeo Ed

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@sinamongstars This literally happens at co-Ed summer camps. All the campers deciding which counselors were together…. Not cool…. Though they were surprisingly accurate 😂

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@ErinisGreater you also need this button

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

I wish there was a Twitter shortcut that just said: “send this to my sister” it would actually save me a ton of time

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@PaperWarewolf This is amazing!! But where is the completed work?! I have to see it, Tremors is my all time favorite horror movie. Time we’ll spent!

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@stebedonnet I rewatched this with all my friends last night solely because of this tweet. What a great watch and they of course loved it, laughing and crying

[All-Human Primate @ferallyferal]

@gh0st_squirrel @OurFlagHBOMax @rhysiedarby @cononeilluk @sambaschutte @V_Vico_Ortiz @nathan_foad This is amazing, had I been there I would have also screamed at you in a non threatening way