Franky Chung

if it's fried, it must be tried ☝️

[En Júpiter @En_jupiter_]

"No puedo salir tengo planes"

Mis planes

[terminally onλine εngineer @tekbog]

we have to find a way to communicate with them

[once and future wife geist @wife_geist]

really beautiful moment at the kids piano recital yesterday when an old asian gentleman, who clapped politely for his granddaughter, rose to his feet in roaring ovation for the random HS senior who annihilated a transcendent performance of "merry christmas, mr lawrence"

[baby jane 🍓 @janedazey]

walked past a toddler with his mom today and as i passed he said loudly “who is that?” and his mom was like “we don’t know her, we don’t know everyone”

[Catherine Warr @HiddenYorkshire]

sometimes when i'm feeling stressed out i make a list of actionable steps and imagine mike ehrmantrout saying "this is what you're going to do"

[Kieran @kieransofar]

me: the earth isn’t flat

fiat earther: correct

me: huh?

fiat earther: it’s the shape an italian car

me: what?

fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?

[Le'Veon Bell @LeVeonBell]

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

In high school, I was complaining about how long the school day was and my teacher turned to me and said, "the days are long, but the years are short" and I was like "what the fuck are you talking about you lunatic" and then the bell rang and now I'm in my 30s.

[Julie Banderas @JulieBanderas]

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my IPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

[alex forrest @ALEXF0RREST]

guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn

[ily⚡️ @0xIlyy]

Nobody is an atheist when you run the DB migration in prod on 1 billion rows

[Cedar You @our_decay]

I would love to start a band with a name that has impossibly bad SEO. Something like “Chinese Food Near Me” or “The United States of America”

[Kristen @Kica333]

And to my children I leave my collection of grocery bags that I store inside of a grocery bag.

[🟡 The tumboy 🟡 @TheTumboy]

went swimming for exercise for the first time in 15+ years and at the end of what I thought was a pretty normal lap a lifeguard came over and asked if I was ok

[Le'Veon Bell @LeVeonBell]

if alcohol damages your short term memory imagine what alcohol can do

[𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚗 𝙼𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚜 @SkinMuffins]

If I was named Jeff I’d constantly be saying things like “jeffinately” and “I jeffed up”

[trash jones @jzux]

“love is in the air” WRONG. microplastics

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

drinking six beers and talking to my cat like